I was going to keep going until the end of this week, but due to an extremely stressful work schedule the next couple days and the fact that I’m leaving Friday night to spend the week with family, HIMYM: 5 Days a Week is going to take a short hiatus. My apologies to everyone and I’ll be back to my schedule January 3. Have a great holiday season and a happy new year! See you all in 2011!
Just because no day is complete with out a little NPH:
“Hey, it takes two to cuddle!”
Lily crashes at Barney’s apartment and becomes an unexpected asset, while Marshall tries to adjust to not being in a couple.
Lily & Barney- Lily has moved into her new, tiny, crappy, and when Robin and Ted come over to see it they decide she has to stay with someone. Ted lives with Marshall so he’s out, Robin has dogs and Lily’s allergic, and Barney flat refuses. Barney comes home to find Lily on his couch and after she begs, he agrees to let her stay for only two days. Lily and Barney come to an understanding about his apartment, that no thing in it is homey or inviting to women. But when a woman he brings home just won’t leave (because she’s psycho) Lily’s arrival pushes the girl out the door because she thinks Barney’s married. So Barney sees the benefit of having Lily around, and offers to let her stay. While Barney has breakfast with a one-night stand, Lily comes in, horrified that her “husband” is cheating on her, causing the girl to beat a hasty exit. Barney’s impressed with how well it worked so Lily suggests making the apartment look more like a woman lives there. Lily and Barney have a great evening at home and end up falling asleep together. The next morning Barney realizes that it’s like they’re in a relationship and wants to call it off, but Lily has gotten used to living that way. So in order to get her to leave Barney ends up giving her some of the thing sthey bought, so her crappy apartment is very well furnished.
Marshall- Marshal is adjusting to being single because he loves doing all the things couples do, but can’t do them alone. A friend of Marshall’s, Brad, just got dumped as well, so the two of them start hanging out. Robin and Ted give Marshall a hard time about his man-dates with Bard, but Marshall just insists that they’re threatened because he’s single and doing couple-things. Things between Marshall and Brad get weird because Brad keeps treating Marshall like a girlfriend, so Marshall decides after a wedding they’re going to, he’s calling it off. But when Marshall meets up with Brad the next day, he finds out that Brad got back together with his ex, so he doesn’t need Marshall anymore.
The Mother- I love this episode! I love watching Barney and Lily together because they tend to not get along. And I love Marshall wanting to do all these things, but getting totally creeped out by Brad.
“Dancing is bad. Dancing leads to sex!”
After Ted and Robin have their first fight, Robin and Lily follow stories of Ted all over town as he runs from place to place with a girl he met at MacLaren’s.
Ted and Robin have their first big fight after he starts complaining about the phallic-in-design skyscraper his firm is designing. He’s been complaining about work for weeks and she’s just had enough. After she insults Field of Dreams the fight completely blows up. While telling the guys about the fight, Barney tells Ted he needs to use the line, “Ted Mosby, Architect” and he’d get more ladies. Ted tries it out on a girl at the bar and is surprised when she responds favorably.
The girls show up at MacLaren’s but the guys are gone. While wondering where Ted went a girl asks them if they mean, “Ted Mosby, Architect” and then tells them about Ted flirting with her and her friend. They find out that Ted and the friend went to a party Marshall’s friend was throwing. They find out from Marshall's friend that Ted was there and he, Marshall, and the girl went dancing. They call Marshall and ask for Ted and Marshall says that Ted’s working. They think he’s lying for Ted so they go to the club.
There they find out from the bouncer that Ted gave the chick a piggy-back ride across the street to her apartment. Marshall tried to stop him and tell him that he proved that the line works and asks if he’s worried that a “certain someone” is going to find out what he’s doing. But Ted runs off anyway. They get the apartment number from the bouncer (in exchange for Robin’s purse). They get to the girl’s and find out it’s unlocked, but before they can go in, Robin realizes she’s the problem. But Lily talks her into going in. They sneak in and find the girl in the shower and Barney in the girl’s bed. Barney tells them that he showed up while Ted was talking to the girls at MacLaren’s and after Ted went back to work Barney introduced himself as “Ted Mosby, Architect.” They go to leave and Barney leaves a form letter for the girl as a good-bye.
Robin does some contemplating and then takes donuts to Ted. She apologizes and they make-up. Ted also shows her the building he designed that Future Ted says is the one they actually built.
The Mother- Not my favorite episode, although I love the twist. It’s almost better when you know what’s really going on because then you can totally see Barney doing all those things.
So, what did you think? Am I totally off my rocker and this was the best episode ever? Let me know!
“Wait a minute, you’re able to cross the threshold of a church?”
Ted’s parents are in town and three storylines come to a head over brunch.
Future Ted breaks the story of the time his parents came to visit and they all went to brunch into three parts, so that’s how we’re going to do it.
The Marshall & Lily Part- Future Ted explains that he’d flown his parents in to New York for their 30th Anniversary. He also explains that he’d flown his parents didn’t like to talk about anything emotional, uncomfortable, or…real. Lily is at the apartment picking up some things and everything’s a little uncomfortable. Lily gets mad when Marshall says that they are like brother and sister now. That night at dinner she wears a fantastic dress just to torture Marshall. So the next day at brunch Marshall shows off his calves, a part of him that Lily’s always had a weakness for, and they end up doing it in the bathroom. Which they both end up blaming each other for.
The Barney Part- Barney is super excited to meet Ted’s parents and does a better job kissing up than Robin. After dinner he asks if anyone wants to go to MacLaren’s and Ted’s father agrees. The next morning Barney tells te story about how at MacLaren’s Ted’s dad was being a great wingman. Barney leaves and when he comes back to get his forgotten phone, he finds Ted’s dad making out with the waitress. He shows Ted the picture he took on his phone. Ted’s dad shows up and Ted goes to confront him but he can’t bring himself to do it.
The me and Robin Part- Ted warns Robin that his mother always grills his girlfriends on marriage and kids, and she’ll know it’s coming when she mentions Ted’s cousin Stacy (6 kids, 5 years, whew!). At dinner Stacy gets brought up but his mom asks about being a journalist instead. She tells Robin how important it is that she focuses on her career right now. Robin is put-off because it appears that his mom doesn't want him to have kids with Robin. At brunch Robin snaps at her and Ted’s mom approaches her away from the table. Robin admits that she just wants Ted’s mom to want her to want to have Ted’s kids. Ted’s mom admits that she just doesn’t want Robin to make the same mistake she did of getting married too young.
Now it all comes together: Ted makes his dad admit that he kissed another woman. Ted’s mom tries to fake shock, but then they tell Ted tat they got divorced nearly 10 months previously and were separated for 2 years before that. To top it all off, Ted’s mother is dating someone. Ted leaves, followed closely by Robin and his parents. Marshall and Lily apologize to each other and agree to keep their distance for a while.
Ted confronts his parents outside and they apologize for not telling him. He insists that they need to start talking about things and the tell why they split up. As they talk about how different they are it begins to sounds an awful lot like Ted and Robin. Ted’s parents agree to full disclosure and Ted asks about his grandmother, who hasn’t returned his calls lately, only to have his parents avoid it completely.
The Mother- I love Ted’s parents inability to talk about anything with substance. All because they don’t want to upset anyone. It’s parenting protection to the extreme!
“You don’t want to see what I’m like when I’m angry!”
Marshall finally comes to terms with being single, while Lily finally comes back to New York.
Marshall is declared finally over Lily when he checks Robin out one evening. Barney announces that Ted’s out and Marshall is in as his new wing man. Meanwhile Robin goes home to find Lily outside her apartment.
Barney keeps helping Marshall talk to girls and then Barney takes them home. Lily on the other hand is apartment hunting with Robin, telling her how great San Francisco was and how great her life has been. Ted bets Robin that lily still wants Marshall and they decide to et her drunk to get the truth.
Barney takes Marshall to a bar near NYU and Marshall gets the number of a cute girl, but on the cab ride home Barney takes it. After they fight over the card, Barney throws it out the window and when Marshall gets out to chase it down, Barney drives away and reveals he still has the card.
Ted and Robin are having drinks and dinner with Lily, and she is excitedly telling them stories when her phone rings. She finds out she didn’t get a great apartment she applied for and breaks down. When Ted and Robin question her, she admits the apartment is a metaphor for Marshall. The next morning she admits she was dying to ask them about Marshall and her summer was awful. She asks if they think Marshall would take her back and Ted tells her absolutely. But he warns her that unless she’s certain she wants Marshall.
Barney apologizes for taking Marshall’s girl and offers to set him up with her identical twin on a double-date. The date’s going well when Barney informs Marshall that he’s going to take both girls home. Marshall leaves and we see Barney lie to the girls that Marshall got food poisoning. When Marshall heads up to the apartment he finds Lily outside. She acts casual and then admits San Francisco was horrible. She asks to get back together and he tells her that everything she said three months previously about them finding out who they each are, was right, so they can’t get back together. They sit, catching up and when she asks if there’s anything she can do, he takes her up on the offer. The newly brunette Lily goes down to the bar and tells a surprised Barney he gave her Chlamydia and throws a drink in his face. Then she comes back in wearing a hat and says that he gave her twin sister Chlamydia and throws a second drink in his face. This prompts the twins to leave. “Well played Eriksen.”
The Mother- I love that this episode is not about Ted at all. It’s about Marshall and Lily with Ted, Robin, and Barney pushing the story along.
Note- Okay, I know people are reading this, so, comments? Reactions to this episode? Did you love it? Hate it? Favorite moments or quotes? Suggestions for future Barney of the Day? Let me know!
“Anytime a girl wants to get back at her ex-boyfriend. We will be there.”
“Oh man. You guys did it, didn’t you?”
Season 2 of How I Met Your Mother starts with Ted and Robin getting back together and Lily leaving Marshall and going to San Francisco.
Exuberant in their new relationship, Ted and Robin are all over each other. Marshall on the other hand is drinking beer on the couch 24/7. After a month they try to cheer him up with strippers (Barney) and baseball (Ted), but he doesn’t really cheer up until Robin takes him to the gun range.
Ted and Robin have plans to go away for the weekend, but Marshall gets Lily’s credit card bill which send him into a funk. He gets online and finds out Lily’s in New York at a hotel. He calls, only to have a guy answer in her room. Marshall wants to go there and beg her to take him back, but Ted ends up yelling at him. He tells Marshall he’s pathetic and he’s blowing any chance the “real Marshall” has of ever getting Lily back.
Robin and Ted head out and call Barney from the road to check on Marshall. Barney’s in a strip club and when he turns to give the phone to Marshall, Marshall’s gone. Ted and Robin head to the hotel and find Marshall in the hotel bar. Marshall tells Ted he went to Lily’s room with a speech planned, but when the guy opened the door, Marshall punched him. Only Marshall didn’t punch Lily’s new boyfriend, he punched the guy who stole Lily’s identity. Marshall tells Ted how those charges were the last link he had to Lily. And now it’s gone.
Ted tells Marshall about how the very first time they met, Marshall was confident and happy. Without Lily. And Marshall says he was stoned and thought Ted was the Dean. But Ted reminds him he needs to get back to the version of himself, before Lily. And Marshall resolves to start being okay. It takes him a while longer, but eventually he is okay again.
The Mother- I think this is going to be good for Marshall. Everyone needs to experience being single as an adult. It’s a necessary life lesson he hasn’t had yet.
“Ted, you’re forcing me to be the voice of reason. And it’s not a good look for me!”
Ted tries anything to get back together with Robin while Marshall find out about San Francisco.
Ted, Barney, & Robin- “The Universe” (or Barney) slaps Ted after he announces that he’s going to try for Robin again. Ted comes up with a plan to get Robin’s spare key from Lily, wait in her apartment with a string quartet playing blue instruments (a la her blue French Horn). Unfortunately, Robin forgets her keys, but when she calls Lily about her spare, Lily advises her to knock. So, she does and Ted opens the door to his big gesture. Robin is confused, especially because she agreed to go on a date with her co-anchor, Sandy. Ted tells her he needs an answer, she can’t give one, so he says that it is a no then. Ted decides it’s not over and when Barney tries to convince him otherwise, Ted decides to make it rain, so Robin can’t got on the company camping trip with Sandy. So, Ted recruits a girl who Barney slept with who studies Native American culture to teach him a rain dance. He’s making a fool of himself, but he keeps going because he loves her. Ted ends up yelling at the Universe and it begins to rain. Ted runs to Robin’s and the two get back together.
Marshall & Lily- Marshall hears a message for Lily and finds out about the fellowship in San Francisco. It causes a huge fight for them and pushes them both to the point of questioning the wedding entirely. They calm down and Lily says that this is something she needs to do, but Marshall is afraid 3 months will turn into forever. When Ted comes home from Robin’s the next morning he find Marshall sitting on the front steps in the rain, Lily’s ring in his hand.
The Mother- Beating a dead horse. Seriously! I agree with all the other characters who are saying that Ted and Robin are not going to last. Marshall and Lily, though, they make me sad. They’re so perfect and it just kills me to watch them falling apart.
“Oh my God, is that a drifter with a hook for a hand? No, drifter, no!”
Ted gets a date with his perfect girl while Lily questions if she really wants to get married.
Ted & Lily- In honor of Ted’s birthday, Barney uses the “greatest pick-up line ever” which involves calling the “paramedics” for the girl and then saying something cheesy about her falling out of heaven and then everyone chanting, “give him your number” until the girl gives in. Meanwhile, Ted tells everybody else that he’s too picky about girls, so he’s just going to sit back and let fate take care of it.
The next day Ted hears from Love Solutions that they have found him a match. Ted sets up a date, but while waiting he gets a call from Lily. She’s very far away (New Haven?) and has a flat. So Ted goes out, and when he finds Lily he makes her tell him what she’s doing out there. So she tells him she started stressing over the wedding and got insomnia, and stumbled on an art fellowship in San Francisco, and the interview was that night. Ted accuses her of not wanting to get married and she denies it. Ted points out that she could have found a program closer to New York and she didn’t tell Marshall. She tells him the flat was a sign that she’s supposed to marry Marshall. Lily still wants to go to the interview after arguing about it, Lily leaves Ted on the side of the road. He calls Barney, but he won’t come pick him up, and when Marshall offers to Ted lies to protect Lily and says it was a prank. Ted calls Robin who brings the news van to pick him up. She’s wearing an odd hat and when he commits on it, she admits she got bad highlights. She tries to distract him by asking about his date, but he won’t let it go. Robin drops him off for his date and to cheer him up, shows him her horrendous hair. Ted realizes he still wants Robin, so he blows off his date. When he goes upstairs Lily and Marshall are there and Lily tells him, covertly, that she went to the interview, but she’s not going to take it.
Marshall & Barney- Poor Marshall hates working at Barney’s firm, but he needs the money. This day, Barney tries to recruit him in on his feud with a guy across the street, but Marshall refuses, so Barney shuns him. Barney manages to rope Marshall in and Marshall starts helping. They get a box and 100 white mice and are going to send it to the guy. But it backfires on them when the mice chew through the box.
The Mother- Ted pisses me off in this episode. What a jerk thing to do! He doesn’t even want to meet this girl? What’s to say he wouldn’t have fallen for this girl harder than he fell for Robin. Or maybe that spark wouldn’t have been there and he couldn’t gone after Robin anyway. Would it have hurt to find out? Yeesh.
“It is on. It is on! Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan.”
Trying to hear a band they want to book for the wedding, Lily tries to sneak into a prom, while Ted and Marshall try to have one last guy’s night out.
Eight months into their engagement, the Van Smoot House, a gorgeous old mansion, becomes available for a date only two months away. So Marshall and Lily, literally, run over and put down a deposit. Lily gets super stressed about planning a wedding in 9 weeks, but Marshall tells her he’s found a great band. She won’t hire them without hearing them perform “their song” first, but the only place they’re playing that weekend is a high school prom. After the school says they’re not allowed to go Lily, Robin, and Barney hatch a plan to sneak in, while Ted and Marshall plan a guys night out. Unfortunately, Marshall promised Lily they’d stuff 200 invitations. While looking for a sluttier dress, Lily stumbles across the dress she wore to her prom back in ‘96. We flashback to where Goth Lily is dancing with her slacker boyfriend, Scooter, who’s on his way to umpire school.
When they try to sneak in, they're told if they’re not high schoolers or dates of high schoolers, they’re not getting in. So Robin snags two geeky, date-less guys and the girls get in, while Barney plots his own entrance. Lily goes and talks to the band and they tell her if she can get them the sheet music, they can play her song. So Robin calls to tell Marshall (with Barney climbing in through a window and getting hauled off by security behind her) and she and Marshall discuss her feelings toward Ted.
Lily tells Robin it feels like everything's moving too fast and we flashback to Lily telling boyfriend Scooter things are moving too fast. Lily tells Scooter that when she goes to college they’re over. She lists off her dreams and he begs her to stay, which causes her to tell him it’s too much pressure. While dancing with the high school guy, Lily asks him about his dreams and then tells him it’ll never happen. That he’ll end up giving up all that. While Robin is telling the guy she’s dancing with that he’s not getting lucky that night, he throws up on her shoes.
Marshall and Ted show up with the music and meet Barney, who’s snuck in dressed up in the school’s turtle mascot costume. Marshall goes to talk to Lily’s “date” to find her and the guy gets incredibly possessive and attacks Marshall, causing Ted to fight back for him.
While Robin cleans up in the bathroom, she asks Lily if she’s having second thoughts and Lily admits she is. She says she keeps thinking about everything she wanted to do 10 years previously. We flashback to the first time she met Marshall, and the two of them bonding over music. Robin tells Lily that just because she’s getting married she doesn’t have to give up on her dreams.
The guys are outside with security and they can’t get back in so Barney takes off with the turtle head, luring security away so Ted and Marshall can get in. Lily and Marshall get to dance to their song while Ted and Robin reconcile and becomes friends again.
The Mother- Not my favorite episode. Yes, it has it’s funny parts, but it’s not memorable.
“You know that scene in Empire when they lower the helmet onto Darth Vader’s head? Do you think that’s how Sandy puts his hair on in the morning?”
Ted tries to get back at Robin by going out with Mary, a hooker.
3 Months Previously
Robin invites the group to the banquet for an award she’s been nominated for, a “Local Area Media Award” (LAMA). Ted tells her to put him down for two because he feels that Victoria is going to be around for a long time.
Present Day
Victoria is so gone. Ted is trying to figure out if he should even go to the banquet in 2 hours because Robin is still pissed at him. But Barney tells him to get a hooker. Ted refuses and Barney suggest Mary, who lives in his building.
Meanwhile, Robin asks Lily if it would be weird if Robin brought a date. Lily says it won’t be, but calls Marshall and they agree it will. Then Barney shows up with Mary. Ted balks and Barney lists off the following reasons why it’s perfect.
A. It will make Robin insanely jealous
B. You get to have sex with her
C. Maybe by getting to know Mary, you’ll come to see that courtesans are people too
D. B all night long
Ted continues to refuse until Robin walks in with her date. Her co-anchor, Sandy Rivers, whom Ted hates. Sandy is a pompous jerk and Ted introduces him to his date, Mary.
At the banquet they ask Mary what she does and Barney supplies that she’s a paralegal. When questioned further, her answers are all spot on the nose, and the guys are relieved she didn’t give it away. Mary flirts with Ted and they get along really well, while Robin looks increasingly annoyed. Mary and Ted talk about how great the hotel is and Barney surprises them with a room. Ted struggles with the moral implications of sleeping with Mary, as Robin’s category comes up. She wins the award and in her speech, blatantly leaves Ted out.
Robin goes to leave with Sandy, and Ted obviously heads upstairs. Robin comes back and admits she and Sandy aren’t together, she was just trying to make him jealous. It comes out that Mary’s a prostitute and Barney makes his big reveal. Mary’s not a prostitute. She’s a paralegal who lives in his building. And she doesn’t know that Ted thinks she’s a hooker.
Meanwhile, upstairs Ted and Mary are having very different conversations and finally he backs out, telling her it’s because she’s a hooker. After she repeats that she’s a paralegal a few time, in increasingly angry tones, Ted figures it out.
The next day, Barney points out that if Ted were as confident with all women as he was with Mary, he’d get farther faster. And Ted gets his revenge by never checking out of the very expensive hotel room that’s being charged on Barney’s credit card.
The Mother- I love aspects of this episode. I love that they have “telepathic” conversations. I love that there’s a big twist. And I love Alyson Hannigan’s (Lily’s) interactions with Alexis Denisof (Sandy) because it’s tons funnier when you know they’re married in real life.
“Hey, you guys remember the time Lily kicked Korean Elvis in the nards?”
“Oh wow. You just got burned. Phonics style!”
Ted goes over to Robin’s after 2 A.M. against his and everyone's better judgment.
Continuing on from last time, when Robin called Ted at 2 A.M. to invite him over. Future Ted explains how that day had started good and ended up crappy for Robin, leading her to call Ted. Future Ted advises his kids that when it’s after 2 A.M. to just go to sleep, because decisions after 2 A.M. are the wrong decisions. But Ted agrees to go over, in the cab, though he has a debate with his sub-conscious who manifests as Victoria. So he calls Marshall, who’s still with Lily and Barney. All three of them know about the Robin-likes-Ted situation. Marshall calls Ted back and tells him not to go. Lily tells him Robin likes him, and he tells her he’s not going. But, of course, he goes. They talk and she asks him how the phone call with Victoria went and he lies and says they broke-up. Robin tries to act sad, but she can’t help smiling and neither can Ted. They have some lame small talk about how Ted got a new phone just like Robin’s. Then Marshall, Lily, and Barney call and he tells them he lied and they tell him, emphatically, to go home.
Ted goes to leave, but their hug turns into more. Before they can move to the bedroom, Ted grabs his phone and heads for the bathroom. Ted has a conversation with Sub-conscious Victoria and he tells her he’s going to call Victoria and come out of the bathroom single, and Sub-conscious Victoria tells him what’s going to happen shouldn’t in the bathroom of the girl he’s going to sleep with. Ted decides to call Victoria in the morning, but he also decides to sleep with Robin that night. Then he realizes he grabbed the wrong phone. And when he comes out of the bathroom, Robin is hanging up with his girlfriend. She thought it was her phone, so she answered it. Robin walks away, and Ted leaves and breaks up with Victoria in the cab home.
“That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon...Show me you’re psyched!!”
“No, when Dr. Australia Birdbath-Vaseline came home from the gorillas, she didn’t run around picking nits out of people’s hair and throwing feces!”
Ted deals with his long-distance relationship with Victoria, while Marshall struggles at his new job.
Marshall, Lily, & Barney- His first day working for the same company as Barney, Marshall discovers he’s not fitting in. Barney tells him that Lily is going to be much happier in the future if they have money. Marshall is still being picked-on, so Barney advises him to conform. lily is appalled, but Mary says it’s just like an anthropological study. He’s merely appearing to conform. Barney teaches him what to do and he starts to fit in. A little too well. It’s driving Lily crazy, so in an effort to show her how not lame the guys are Marshall invites her out with them that night to karaoke. Unfortunately, they really are lame, but they tell Marshall they’re getting him a permanent position in the office and he agrees to take it. Lily is mad and tells Marshall he’s great without the money. Marshall apologizes by arranging to sing “their song” with Lily.
Ted & Robin- Feeling guilty because Victoria keeps sending him care packages, Ted leaves a message for Victoria saying that he’s sent her a package. He hasn’t. Robin helps him put together a great package which Victoria loves. Unfortunately, Ted isn’t getting any better at the long-distance thing and tells Robin how he fell asleep on the phone to Victoria the night before. Ted decides to fly to Germany to like Victoria is going to break-up with him. Robin tries to convince him he’s Victoria over-reacting, but nothing can change Ted’s mind. After sitting at home waiting for Victoria to call, he finally heads out to the karaoke bar. He heads home at 2 AM and the phone rings. But it’s not Victoria. It’s Robin, and she asks him to come over. Dum dum dum.
The Mother- Poor Victoria. Ted’s already broken up with her and she hasn’t even called yet. Did I call it or what? This is going to end spectacularly badly.
“Everything here is dark and sketchy and seems illegal. It’s like shopping in Barney’s mind.”
Ted contemplates his future with Victoria, while Marshall suits-up with Barney and Lily starts looking at dresses while helping Robin with her Victoria issues.
Ted- Ted is in the glory days with Victoria. Everything is sunshine and rainbows and Ted making stupid jokes she laughs at. Victoria is offered a chance at a fellowship at a culinary institute in Germany for two years. Neither one believes long-distance can work, so she either stays or they break-up. They agree to go think about it and while talking to the guys, Ted realizes he might not know Victoria as well as he thought. Ted decides to tell her to go, and meets her for dinner. While dress shopping Victoria decided to stay, and made Ted a cupcake to give him at dinner. Cupcake in hand, Ted blurts out that he wants her to stay and Victoria blurts that she has to go. So they decide to break-up. But Marshall advises him to spend one last amazing day together and they do. (In bed.) Ted takes her to the airport and they say good-bye. Just before she goes through security, Ted tells her they should try long-distance and Victoria agrees.
Lily & Robin- The girls are going wedding dress shopping, and Victoria offers to come with since she may be able to get Lily a discount seeing as she’s in the wedding business. Robin is not dealing with Victoria particularly well and while Lily tries on dresses she tries to talk Victoria into going. Lily convinces Robin to just let them be happy, and Robin tells Victoria to stay. The dresses are hideous sot they put Lily in a dress she can’t afford and she manages to sit in a cake.
Marshall & Barney- Marshall has a job interview at his dream law firm (environmental, saving the earth stuff, yada yada yada, can you tell I drive the 1.5 miles to my work?) and Barney takes him to his tailor to get a new suit. The place is sketchy (backroom of a pet shop) but the suit is great. Barney tells him it’s suit for winners and offers to get him an interview in his offer. When Barney gives him the bill for his amazing suit, it’s $4,000. After finding out about the wedding dress, Marshall agrees to go for the interview.
The Mother- So Victoria is not The Mother. As is evidenced by Future Ted saying long-distance didn’t work. I knew it!
“Oh my God. What happened next?”
Game Night is interrupted when an embarrassing video of Barney is discovered, causing everyone to tell their most humiliating moment.
Ted, Marshall, Lily, Barney, & Robin- Because Marshall is so good at games, they put him in charge of game night. So he creates his own game. And just to compound issues, Victoria is coming. Ted preps them that he hasn’t told her about the Robin thing. Of course, Barney is not going to go along with that.
Game night starts and Marshall’s game is super complicated. Marshall and Lily, who promised to not interrogate Victoria, instead get to ask her personal questions through the game.
Meanwhile, Lily mentions that she met a girl who knows Barney, Shannon, and she gave Lily a tape to give Barney. Barney for once, loses his cool composure, but tries to pretend he’s fine. Lily give Barney the tape and when he smashes it, she reveals it was a fake tape an she still has the real one. They play it and discover it’s of a hippie Barney begging Shannon to not leave him. Barney, takes the tape and storms out.
He meets back up with them at McClaren’s, and when they ask him to tell them what the story is, he says it’s embarrassing and will only tell if first Marshall tells his most embarrassing story. Marshall tells the story of how he visited Lily one day and went to use the bathroom, and a kid walked in on him. So he ran out of the bathroom and a kid walked in him. So he ran out of the bathroom, and tripped over his pants, just as Lily’s class walked in. “The kids still call him Funny Butt.”
So Barney tells his story, of how just after college he was, well the only word for it is a hippie, working at a coffee shop with his girlfriend Shannon. In five weeks they were headed to Nicaragua with the Peace Corps. The flashback shows a mellow, woman-respecting Barney, who is waiting with his girlfriend until marriage. Five weeks later, he was ready to go, but she never sowed up. Barney refuses to go on until someone else tells their humiliating story. Robin is chosen and starts to tell her “falling in horse-crap” story but they complain so Victoria steps up. She says it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at her grandparent's retirement community. Here Future Ted stops and says it’s too inappropriate to tell.
Barney continues because the story was so great. Young Barney went back tot he coffee shop to find Shannon and she says that her dad won’t let her go. She says he’s coming by later to talk, but that Barney should go without her. Barney was going to go, but he went back to confront her dad. As he walks up tot he coffee shop he sees her arguing with her dad, and then Shannon and her “dad” start making out.
All: “WHAT!!”
In order to get him to tell more, Lily tells the story of how Marshall’s mom sent them cookies so Lily called to thank her. When she finishes the call, Lily and Marshall talk about how much they hate the cookies and then they have floor sex. Only Lily didn’t hang up the phone, so Marshall’s mom was listening the whole time.
Barney confronts Shannon and she says that’s Greg’s not her dad, and they’ve been dating a few weeks. She was hoping he’d go with the Peace Corps and they could avoid a confrontation. She stifles Barney’s protests by saying that Greg buys her stuff. He’s older and successful. That night he made the video and mailed it to her. Greg and Shannon stop in to get her last paycheck and it turns out Greg was a douche customer we met earlier who told Barney if he made money he’d get laid. So Barney clean up, suits up, and becomes the Barney we know and love. He says he saw Shannon one last time, but he’ll need a story from Ted to get through it. So Ted tells them what happened after he told Robin he loved her, he was drunk and he Barney, and Ranjit went to Robin's and he threw up on her doormat. Victoria looks uncomfortable and Barney finishes his story. That very night, after he stormed out, eh went to Shannon’s so she could know who she made him change in to. They talked and he found out she’s a mom. He wonders what he has in his life that’s so great, and tells them he’s awesome. And that he nailed her. And Barney leaves in an amazing mood.
The night itself brings the everyone closer to everyone else.
The Mother- I love seeing this side of everyone. And I love, love, love seeing Barney’s past. Honestly, I feel torn about Victoria. I want Ted to be with Robin, but Victoria is great. Putting up with everyone and their questions and telling her embarrassing story.
Anybody else notice how reminiscent Barney’s makeover scene was to the scene where Dr. Horrible becomes "Evil League of Evil Dr. Horrible?”
“Wow! Nine years? Your relationship’s a fourth grader.”
Ted and Victoria experience firsts, while Lily and Marshall question if they’ll have more firsts, and Barney and Robin bro-around for an evening.
Ted- Ted, newly in love with Victoria, spends the first 48 hours he knows her, with her. Only while being grilled by Lily and Marshall on Monday morning he admits they haven’t had sex, which was her idea.
3 Weeks Later
Ted and Victoria are waiting a while month to have sex, which no one understands, and it’s killing him.
On their way to dinner, Victoria realizes she will be out of town in a week (on their 1-month anniversary and sex night) so she suggests they have sex that night instead. Trapping Lily and Marshall in the bathroom. Ted and Victoria drag the experience out, until finally they’re moving on, but Ted’s cell rings. They end up just doing it on the living room floor.
Lily & Marshall- Celebrating their 9-year anniversary, Lily and Marshall are heading to a maple syrup festival in the Berkshires. As they go to leave they realize all they really want to do is stay home, so they bail on their weekend. Trapped in the bathroom because of Ted and Victoria, they eavesdrop, laughing over the corniness. But watching them cases Lily to realize that she and Marshall aren’t romantic anymore. And then lily has to pee. They’ve gone 9 years never doing that, and now they’re afraid it’ll totally change their relationship. Finally, Lily can’t wait, and when it’s over they realize they feel the same, but different. Lily accidentally flushes the toilet, so they come out into the living room and find that Ted and Victoria are gone. And they realize they’ll still have firsts, and they resume their mocking of Ted and Victoria.
Robin & Barney- Because everyone else has plans Barney asks Robin to be his bro for the evening. Robin shows up at barney’s cigar bar, suited-up. The two then take on the 12-year-olds at laser tag, making an awesome team. After getting beaten, they head back to McClaren’s where Robin uses a little girl rivalry to get a woman to go for Barney. But Barney turns her down and the two go to play Battleship. They go back to Robin’s and when she takes the dogs in the other room, Barney strips down to his skivvies. But when Robin comes back she yells at him because she thought they were hanging out as friends. Barney explains that he thought they’d work well together (for a few different reasons) and he even check with Ted (thus the phone call Ted received) but when she finds out Ted didn’t care, Barney realizes she likes Ted.
The Mother- I love that Ted’s story line is not the main story and instead is the set-up for the other two storylines. And the other two stories are hysterical. I think this episode is the first time Barney and Robin really spend time together alone, and honestly, they’re really great together. Lily and Marshall are like, my idols in relationships.
“My stomach was like, ‘Hey, bro, I don’t know what you’re eating ‘cause I don’t have any eyes, but it’s basically awesome. So keep sending it down gullet alley.”
Ted tells the story of his amazing night at the wedding with a girl who he’s never supposed to see again.
Ted begins by reflecting that the wedding was supposed to be the night he and Robin get back together, but when Robin had to work, Ted ended up having the most amazing night ever. The morning after the wedding Ted tells Lily and Marshall the story of how he met a cute girl.
When he goes to flirt with her, they discuss how meeting at weddings never works out and she suggests that they just have a great time that night and never see each other again. “Tonight , we will make a memory that will never be tarnished. And then, when we’re old and gray, we’ll look back on this night, and it’ll be perfect.” So they name themselves Buttercup and Lando Calrissian. And then Barney comes up and calls him Ted, and she introduces herself as Victoria (and they agree no last names).
At which point Lily and Marshall interrupt and ask what’s wrong with him.
Continuing the story, Ted grabs some champagne and glasses, Victoria steals the bouquet to “do all the single ladies in this joint a big favor” and they run out.
“So that’s what happened to the bouquet! That’s such an evil tradition.”
In a different room in the hotel, Ted goes to kiss Victoria but she says no, saying it will ruin the moment. So instead, they have all the drum,roll to the kiss and don’t kiss.
And Lily and Marshall interrupt again to call Ted a doof. At which point Ted realizes he has to find her. So he calls the bride to find Victoria. The bride first yells at him over the whole Robin debacle and then says there was no Victoria at the wedding. They figure out she was at the bridesmaid’s table and call Barney to get in touch with the bridesmaid he hooked up with. Barney finally calls the bridesmaid and finds out she doesn’t know. Ted decides it was fate that he was never supposed to see Victoria again.
Robin comes over to see Lily and Lily tells her the whole story. And Robin says she knows who Victoria is. And Robin tells Lily she showed up when she was done at work and saw him almost kiss Victoria. While she was in the bathroom trying not to cry, Victoria came in and tried to make her feel better.
And Lily realized Robin has feelings for Ted. “What is wrong with the two of you? Seriously!” Robin says she can’t tell Ted because she still doesn’t want to get married and he’s Ted, so she should just tell him who Victoria is. And off she goes to find Ted and tell him…something.
Robin and Lily meet-up with the guys at McClaren’s and before Robin can talk to him, the bride calls and she tells him, in answer to Marshall’s questions, that they got the cake at a bakery downtown, the Buttercup Bakery.
During a flash to Robin’s story, in response to her question of who she’s a friend of, that Victoria made the cake.
Marshall decides that Ted has to marry this girl (apparently the cake’s that good) but Lily, knowing what she knows about Robin says it’s a bad idea, and Robin tells him to go get her. So they head to the bakery. Finally, Ted goes in and they finally share a first kiss.
The Mother- Okay, I didn’t see Victoria as being The Mother. And I don’t think this relationship is going to end well. All the talk about messing up relationships? They are really going to screw this up.
