“You know that scene in Empire when they lower the helmet onto Darth Vader’s head? Do you think that’s how Sandy puts his hair on in the morning?”
Ted tries to get back at Robin by going out with Mary, a hooker.
3 Months Previously
Robin invites the group to the banquet for an award she’s been nominated for, a “Local Area Media Award” (LAMA). Ted tells her to put him down for two because he feels that Victoria is going to be around for a long time.
Present Day
Victoria is so gone. Ted is trying to figure out if he should even go to the banquet in 2 hours because Robin is still pissed at him. But Barney tells him to get a hooker. Ted refuses and Barney suggest Mary, who lives in his building.
Meanwhile, Robin asks Lily if it would be weird if Robin brought a date. Lily says it won’t be, but calls Marshall and they agree it will. Then Barney shows up with Mary. Ted balks and Barney lists off the following reasons why it’s perfect.
A. It will make Robin insanely jealous
B. You get to have sex with her
C. Maybe by getting to know Mary, you’ll come to see that courtesans are people too
D. B all night long
Ted continues to refuse until Robin walks in with her date. Her co-anchor, Sandy Rivers, whom Ted hates. Sandy is a pompous jerk and Ted introduces him to his date, Mary.
At the banquet they ask Mary what she does and Barney supplies that she’s a paralegal. When questioned further, her answers are all spot on the nose, and the guys are relieved she didn’t give it away. Mary flirts with Ted and they get along really well, while Robin looks increasingly annoyed. Mary and Ted talk about how great the hotel is and Barney surprises them with a room. Ted struggles with the moral implications of sleeping with Mary, as Robin’s category comes up. She wins the award and in her speech, blatantly leaves Ted out.
Robin goes to leave with Sandy, and Ted obviously heads upstairs. Robin comes back and admits she and Sandy aren’t together, she was just trying to make him jealous. It comes out that Mary’s a prostitute and Barney makes his big reveal. Mary’s not a prostitute. She’s a paralegal who lives in his building. And she doesn’t know that Ted thinks she’s a hooker.
Meanwhile, upstairs Ted and Mary are having very different conversations and finally he backs out, telling her it’s because she’s a hooker. After she repeats that she’s a paralegal a few time, in increasingly angry tones, Ted figures it out.
The next day, Barney points out that if Ted were as confident with all women as he was with Mary, he’d get farther faster. And Ted gets his revenge by never checking out of the very expensive hotel room that’s being charged on Barney’s credit card.
The Mother- I love aspects of this episode. I love that they have “telepathic” conversations. I love that there’s a big twist. And I love Alyson Hannigan’s (Lily’s) interactions with Alexis Denisof (Sandy) because it’s tons funnier when you know they’re married in real life.
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