Monday, January 31, 2011
January 31, 2011- “Deep Throat” Barney
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Season 2, Episode 18: Moving Day
Because you’re Admiral Jerk of the British Royal Douche-ry?
Ted and Robin are moving in together, but Barney is trying to stop them.
Considering Ted is moving in with Robin, Barney offers to rent the room from Lily and Marshall so he can bring girls there.
Ted’s packing up all his stuff, and they’re almost finished loading the truck when Barney comes in with a “Are You Ready to Move In Together Quiz?” Barney’s trying to keep them from moving in together, but when they refuse to listen Barney steals the truck, leaving Ted with only a box of pot lids and a sword.
Lily and Marshall are excited to finally be living alone. They celebrate by sitting around naked, but it’s not as fun as they thought it would be.
Ted keeps calling Barney trying to get his stuff back. Ted and Robin start talking about his stuff, and they find out they disagree about having a tv in the bedroom.
Lily and Marshall decide to have sex on the couch, and they realize they can be as loud as they want, but it backfires on them.
Ted tries to put away his box of pot lids, but Robin says they don’t really need them. And then he finds out she’s not a big fan of the sword either. At this point Barney calls, pretending to not be Barney, and tells Ted to put on a suit he left outside the door and meet his at the bar. When Ted shows up Barney tells him that they’re going to have one last great “Bro” evening before “Fun” Ted gets taken out back and shot.
Barney’s using Ted to get girls’ phone numbers, while Robin is taking a bath and smoking, and completely enjoying herself.
When Lily and Marshall sit down to watch tv it’s a program they love and they call Ted in to see it, but he’s gone because they live alone. They find out that Ted did all the grocery shopping and owned all the useful things, like towels. And Lily admits she misses Ted.
Ted and Barney go play Laser Tag, and are having a great time. Ted’s still trying to get his stuff back, but Barney keeps refusing, finally pointing out to Ted that he just spent his first evening living with Robin out with him. And he didn’t call it “our place” or “my place” or “home,” he called it “Robin’s place.” He’s realized what a mistake it is. Ted tells him to keep it, but when he goes home he ends up having a little fight with Robin because she’s so picky about everything he does. And then he realizes where his truck is.
Barney is getting it on with a girl at the bar, and when they decide to leave he takes her out the loading dock where he’s set up Ted’s van like an apartment. They’re hitting it off when Ted drives the van away with them in the back.
Marshall tells Lily that they need Ted. And then Ted shows up.
Ted and Robin talked things out and decided that maybe they shouldn’t move in together, so he’s come back to ask if he can move back. And Lily and Marshall welcome him back with open arms.
Which brings us to that final scene:
Top Ten Things I Would Have Called My Truck (It was never your truck) if Ted Hadn’t Been a Jerk and Given It Back (It was a rental.):
10. The Winnebango
9. The Pick-Up Truck
8. The Ford Explore Her
7. The You-Scream Truck
6. Feels on Wheels
5. The Ride-Her Truck
4. The 18-Squeeler
3. The Escalaid
2. The Slamboni
1. The ‘69 Chevy
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Season 2, Episode 17: Arrivederci Fiero
I am so sick of this song.
Don’t worry. It comes around again.
What do you mean?
(Together) Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles and falls down at your door!
When Marshall’s Fiero dies they group tells stories about their memories in the car.
Ted and Marshall are in Marshall’s Fiero, celebrating the fact that it’s about to hit 200,000 miles, when Marshall hit a pothole and the car dies. Everyone joins them at the mechanic and Marshall tells the story of when he got the Fiero.
Marshall (072,108 miles)- His brothers handed it down to him, but before it was truly his he had to go through the drive-through, naked, and get 12 cups of coffee. But minutes before, his brothers had come through and took all the cup trays. Then as Marshall is cautiously driving away, they jump out of the bushes and cause him to spill coffee on his lap. Which, Ted explains, was the beginning of Marshall’s no food (including groceries) in the Fiero. Ted says the rule is insane and they could have died because of it. Which brings us to Ted’s story of the 100K Fiasco (Fiero-asco):
Ted (099,788 miles)- Marshall and Ted were roommates in college, but not really friends yet (Ted was pretentious and Marshall was a slob) but Marshall was going home for the Winter Break and offered to drop Ted off at his parent’s in Ohio. While driving back to school, they really bond. Until they get lost and caught in a blizzard. Ted says that if they pull over they could be snowed in for days and he only brought a little food and water. But Marshall says he threw it out because of the no food rule. They end up fighting over it, but survive the night by huddling together. Marshall tells Ted that night that he’s known for a long time that he’s going to marry Lily. They wake up in the morning to find they were parked outside a motel the whole night.
At that point the mechanic comes and tells Marshall it’ll be $3,000 to get the car running but even then there’s no guarantee. He says that the car holds so many memories (144,336- suicidal cat; 167,018- hitchhiking Waldo) including the time a homeless guy broke the window and threw up in the backseat. Which brings us to Lily and Robin’s story about the Fiero.
Lily & Robin (184,698- miles)- They really wanted Thai food but the delivery time is 90 minutes so they drive over to get it and end up spilling food all over the car. They clean up all the food and smoke cigars to cover up the smell, but it ends up smelling like a homeless guy threw up in the car. So they break a couple windows to make it look realistic. And by sharing that secret, Lily and Robin became best friends.
Marshall can’t decide if he wants to scrap it, but Barney is adamant that he gets ride of the car, because he hates it. So we come to Barney’s experience with the Fiero.
Barney (189,441 miles)- The previous year, during a transit strike Barney needs a ride but Marshall’s not around and Ted ends up finding out that Barney can’t drive. Barney is terrified while driving about 2 miles an hour, and ends up completely panicking and freaking out.
Marshall decides that they’ve got to get rid of the car because it’s had a great life and deserves to die with dignity. Marshall goes to say good-bye and they decide to push the car that last .7 mile to help it reach 200,000. But they can’t get the car to move because the back wheels are on blocks. So they decide that’s close enough!
The Mother- This is one of my favorite episodes. You can’t beat everybody’s individual stories about the car, or them listening the that song over and over again because the tape got stuck in the stereo years previously. It’s just a good episode. And I always marvel at what a good job they do at giving everybody different hair for flashbacks (Marshall’s mullet!).
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Season 2, Episode 16: Stuff
Friends don’t let friends come see their crappy play!
Ted and Robin debate exes while Lily and Barney feud over a play she’s invited them to.
Ted & Robin- Future Ted explains that communication is important in a relationship, as is learning when to stop talking. Ted pretends that he hasn’t dated anyone, but Robin insists that he just needs to not pretend. She knows he’s dated other people. But when he points out a girl at the bar that he made out with she is insulted and walks out.
Robin and Ted bring a dilemma to the group: do you keep things your ex leaves in your apartment and/or gives you? Robin thinks Ted should just get rid of the stuff, but Ted says that it’s no big deal. He says that the things he’s kept don’t remind him of the girls, but of the times and places he was when he got them. But Robin says that whenever she sees anything in his apartment she’s just going to compare herself the the girls he dated. Lily sides with Robin, but Marshall sides with Ted. Barney ultimately sides with Robin, because Ted’s apartment is too cluttered. So Ted packs up everything in his apartment that an ex gave him.
Later Ted and Robin go up to his apartment and it’s fairly bare. It turns out most of his stuff was given to him by old girlfriends. Future Ted says it should’ve ended there but the next day, he and Robin are walking her 5 dogs and Ted finds out they were all given to her by her ex-boyfriends. And now all Ted can see are her exes, and he tells her it’s hypocritical. They take it to the group who rules that Robin does not have to give up her dogs.
They apologize to each other, but Ted can’t help but be jealous. So Robin tells Lily that she’s thinking about sending the dogs out to her Aunt’s farm upstate and Lily tells her the dogs will probably be much happier on a farm than in Robin’s apartment.
Ultimately, Robin decides to send her dogs to her Aunt’s at least for a few months. But when she goes in Ted’s apartment she discovers that he didn't actually get rid of any of his stuff, it’s all back in his apartment. They have a huge blow-out fight and finally decide to move in together.
Lily, Marshall & Barney- Lily’s friend asks her to be in a play so she asks everyone to come see it. But Barney insists that they’re too old to do things like ask their friends for rides, ask their friends to help them move, and ask their friends to come see their crappy play.Future Ted explains that in New York there’s Broadway, Off-Broadway, Off-Off-Broadway, Homeless People Screaming the the Park, and then the Play Lily Was In. They play is pretty bad, the four characters are Rage, Greed, Envy, and America (the father of all three), with Ted thrown in as Consumerism. Three hours later it finally ends and everybody except Barney says it was great. Lily says that friends support each other and if Barney were to be in a play she would sit through the whole thing and then compliment him after.
The group goes to Barney one-man play entitled “Suck it Lily.” Lily is determined to stay through the whole thing and say something nice afterwards. The play starts and it is terrible, the first 40 minutes are Barney saying “moist” which is a word Lily hates, and then there’s 20 minutes of Barney shooting them with a water gun. After that comes Barney as a robot, at which point people are leaving. Then he pulls out the recorder and plays really obnoxious songs. Finally, Lily stops him and apologizes for making him come to her play and says that she has nothing nice to say about his. Barney tells them he was only getting warmed up so they end up staying and watching the rest.
At one point in his play, while he’s tap dancing while dressed like a robot, Marshall slaps him off his feet. #2 for the slap bet!
The Mother- Yay! Slap Bet is on! I love Barney torturing them all with his play. On the other hand, Robin and Ted are moving in together. I tell you, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Season 2, Episode 15: Lucky Penny
Ted, you don’t ever want to see where the subway turns around.
Ted and Robin reminisce about the reasons why they’re running late to the airport.
Ted and Robin are heading out to Chicago to have an interview with an architecture firm that wants him to run their New York office. But, they’re running late for the flight because Ted had to be in court that morning because he’d jumped a subway turnstile. Which brings us to the fact that it’s all Barney’s fault.
Barney- Marshall was planning on running the New York City Marathon, but he broke his toe. Of course, Barney says that you don’t need to train for a marathon you “just run it.” So they challenge him to run in Marshall’s place. The next morning they follow Barney’s tracking chip on the computer and watch him make some seriously good time. So they go down to the marathon route and watch Barney effortlessly run past. Barney finishes and decides to ride the subway because he gets to ride for free all day. But, while he’s sitting on the subway his legs go numb and he can’t get off, so he calls Ted to come and get him. But when Ted gets to the subway station the train is leaving so Ted jumps the turnstile and ends up having to go to court.
Ted finds one other flight, but it’s on the other side of the airport, so they end up running across the airport. Then Ted brings up that Barney wouldn’t have run the marathon if Marshall hadn’t broken his toe. So it’s Robin’s fault.
Robin & Marshall- Marshall realized he’d gained some weight and decides to run the NYC Marathon as a way to get in shape. He trains for months, running all the time and learning all the things runners do. Because of the amount of running he was doing, his feet and nipples were chafing so he rubbed petroleum jelly on his feet and was rubbing it on his chest when Robin came in and surprised him, causing him to fall down and break his toe.
So technically, it’s Robin fault. But Robin blames Lily.
Lily- Robin was home during the middle of the day because the night before Lily and Robin camped out for a wedding dress blowout. But while they were sitting outside the door some guy’s car alarm went off and continued to go off, all night long. She was too tired to go all the way out to her apartment so she went to Ted’s to crash for a while, and there stumbled upon Marshall.
So technically, it’s Lily’s fault. They get to the second flight and while waiting to find out if they can get seats they discuss how it’s really Ted’s fault.
Ted- While riding the subway, Ted found a 1939 penny and he and Robin took it to a collector and $1.50 for it. So while they were walking home, they saw the wedding dress store.
So really, it’s all Ted’s fault. Then they find out there are no extra seats on the plane. So Ted’s destiny was to not go to Chicago. Ted didn’t get the job. But Future Ted explains that three months later the guy who did get the job had to relocate to Chicago. And Ted’s destiny was to stay in New York and meet The Mother.
The Mother- Okay, not really leading to The Mother. More like explaining that he met The Mother in New York. Which we already could assume.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Season 2, Episode 14: Monday Night Football
“Come on, dude. You promised you’d stop if I ate all those crayons.”
The group misses the Superbowl but is determined to not find out the score until they can watch the game Monday night.
Ted hands out assignments for the Superbowl game when a they find out the mysterious “Mark” from the bar died and they have to go to his funeral, which is during the Superbowl. They decide to Tivo the game and watch it after the funeral. At the funeral they all realize they did know Mark. Unfortunately at 2:30 that morning they are still at the bar listening to Carl tell stories about Mark. Lily says that they should just find out the score but Ted insists that it’s tradition. So they’re going to watch it the next night instead, but they’re going to have to do a media blackout.
The next day they all work really hard to not find out the score. Ted works from home, Barney ends up handcuffing himself to the radiator in Ted’s apartment. It’s especially hard on Robin, because she is in the media. She keeps trying to avoid hearing them report on the score.
Marshall had promised Lily he’d go with her to school for show-and-tell. But there is a kid who tries to blackmail him or the kid will tell him the score.
Ted has to go to a sports bar to pick up the hot wings, but he wears noise-canceling headphones and a pair of duct taped sunglasses with blinders.
Robin manages to avoid hearing the score, and tries to talk them into not talking about the game for the rest of the newscast.
Barney discovers he handcuffed himself to a pipe that was open on the end so all he had to do was slide the handcuff off and he sneaks out of the apartment while Ted is wearing his glasses. Then Ted realizes they forgot the dipping sauce.
The kids is still taunting Marshall
with ever increasingly embarrassing blackmail.
Robin’s newscast is insance because they’re using completely generic words for who won.
Finally, Marshall has had enough and sprays the kid on the crotch with a juice box so it looks like he wet himself.
Barney is desperate to find out who won the Superbowl because he has money riding on the game. But everyone he runs into on the street has no idea who won.
Ted goes back to the sports bar and gets the dipping sauce.
But, simultaneously, things start to go wrong for everyone. Ted slips on the pool ball, Robin, Lily, and Marshall all accidentally hear the score. And Barney finds out that his team lost.
When everyone comes over, Ted’s ready to get started but no one will admit they heard the score. Then Barney comes in and they find out he lost, so they all “know” who won then. They’re not going to watch the game, but then they decide it’s more about the act of watching than finding out who won.
The Mother- Really. How is this leading us to The Mother? But it’s still funny.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
January 15, 2011- Note
Whoops! I got so caught up in packing last night that I completely missed posting! Well, anyway, too late now!
Also, I will be traveling for the next week, so HIMYM: 5 Days a Week will start back up on January 24, 2011.
Just so I feel a little less like I’m deserting you all:
Have a great week everybody!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Season 2, Episode 13: Columns
“One of my worst fears has come true, I just saw Marshall grabbing himself naked.”
Ted deals with his old boss while Barney has a proposition for Lily.
Ted & Robin- Future Ted explains that all he’s ever wanted to do in his life is design a skyscraper and now he’s doing just that. Except that Hammond Druthers, his old boss, (See Aldrin Justice) is on his team, and he’s a complete douche. Ted used to be just one of the guys, but now he’s the boss, so he decides to fire Druthers the next day. Ted’s going to go through with it, but then he finds out it’s Druther’s birthday. Ted goes back to work that night and finds Druthers at the office, where he’s been sleeping because his wife kicked him out. So instead of firing him, Ted brings him home. The next morning, Ted and Druthers are getting along great, until they get to work and Druthers goes back to his douche ways. Ted is really going to fire him, when Druthers gets served with divorce papers, and finds out his dog is dead. And then they’re celebrating his birthday a second time, because people missed it the day before. And just as Ted fires him, Druthers has a heart attack.
Everyone hates Ted, until he starts “Margarita Fridays.”
Barney, Lily, & Marshall- Barney finds a painting of Marshall, naked, behind the piano and they proceed to torture Marshall with it. The story is that back in college, Lily wanted to do a nude study for her art class, but Marshall didn’t want her to see any other guy naked, so she said he’d have to do it. When Marshall goes to destroy the painting he finds out Barney hung it up in the bar. Marshall steals the painting back and presumably destroys it. Barney compliments Lily on how well it was painted and asks her to pain him. She talks to Marshall and agrees to do it after Barney offers to pay her $5,000, which they’ll use to have a real honeymoon. Lily starts painting Barney (with his boxers on) and just as Barney is about to completely strip down, Marshall comes in resolutely saying no. But then he quietly tells Lily (in between the yelling) that they should get more money for their trip. And of course, Barney offers them more.
Lily finishes and leaves the room. She asks Marshall if he has the money and then pulls him out the door. And then a horrified Barney comes out with his painting, in which Lily gave him the “Ken doll.”
The Mother- Hmmmm, no idea how this episode pertains to The Mother, but I do like it. As usual, I hate the Ted part and love the Barney part.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Season 2, Episode 12: First Time in New York
“You say things!”
Robin’s sister comes into town and Robin finds out she’s planning her first time with her boyfriend while she’s there.
Everyone- Robin is going through the stages building up to telling Ted she loves him. But when it comes down to it, she chokes and can’t say it. When talking to Lily the next day she tells Lily she’s never told a guy she loves him before. She’s always gotten out of the relationship before that .
Robin’s sister, Katie, comes into town with her boyfriend in tow and Robin finds out she’s planning on losing her virginity to “a douche with a faux-hawk.” So she recruits everyone to help her talk Katie out of it.
The next day they all go to the Empire State Building. Katie sees right though their “subtle” attempts to talk her into waiting. Talk turns to how old everybody was their first times.
Robin: 16
Ted: 17
Marshall & Lily: 18
Barney: ? (Six…four…how old were you?)
When they question Barney he tells them it was while he was teaching dance at a camp one summer in the Catskills. Cue the marvelous Dirty Dancing clip (seriously, you have to watch it). They call him on it and then Marshall and Lily tell about their first time together. They were planning on waiting and making it special, but whoops. In true HIMYM fashion, Ted was on the top bunk the whole time. Robin tells her, that just as she and her boyfriend were getting started, he confirmed that he was gay. Lily says, rather emphatically, tat it doesn’t count and it’s revealed that she might’ve had sex with her high school boyfriend Scooter.
Katie comes back and says she’s leaving to go see her boyfriend and the resulting argument has Katie asking Robin if she loves Ted. Ted pulls Robin aside and tells her she doesn’t have to say it. Robin tells Katie that she knows she’s not a good example, but she doesn’t want Katie to make the same mistakes she did. Future Ted says that Katie did have sex, got pregnant…with quintuplets and ended up dying a drunk. And his kids ask what really happened.
Robin comes home and says Katie didn’t go through with it and credits Ted. Evidently, Ted told her about his first time when he told a girl he loved her, slept with her and then never saw her again, because that’s what 17-year-old boys do. So Katie told her boyfriend she wanted to wait and he dumped her. And Ted reveals to Robin that his first time was kinda the exact opposite of what he told Katie. And Robin tells him she loves him.
They finally all go to the top of the Empire State Building. Later at the bar they try to get Barney to tell them about his first time and he lists off a series of movie plots:
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Risky Business,
War Games (which didn’t have a sex scene)
and finally he tells them he was 23 and it was his mom’s 45-year-old friend Rhonda.
The Mother- I have to say, one of my favorites. I think it’s mainly because of Barney trying to pass off movies as his first time. My apologies for being so slow lately. Between working late and trying to get ready for the trip I have coming up this weekend, I just haven’t had a lot of time!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
January 11, 2011- Note: Whoops!
Yeesh, it is late and today’s episode isn’t going to go up until tomorrow. It’s one of my favorites though! So, tomorrow we will have two for the price of one!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Season 2, Episode 11: How Lily Stole Christmas
They think Santa’s how Satan spells his name when he wants to trick us.
Ted, Lily, & Marshall- Ted opts out of spending Christmas with any of his family and instead decides to spend it with his other family. Marshall has a paper due and leaves to work on it while Lily finishes decorating the apartment as a winter wonderland. She finds their old answering machine, which Ted and Marshall unplugged after she left (because it reminded Marshall of how she used to leave messages) and they plug it back in. But when she plays back the messages on it, there’s one from Ted to Marshall in which he calls her a Grinch. Only, Future Ted explains, he didn’t say “Grinch” he said a very, very bad word. Lily’s pissed and Ted tries to excuse it away, but she won’t accept it. Future Ted says that he’d gotten Marshall to badmouth Lily in an effort to get over her and it had gotten out of control. But Ted won’t apologize.
Later, Ted finally goes to apologize and take Lily a beer, like they used to do in college, but when he gets to the apartment Lily and all the decorations are gone. Ted calls her and finds out all the decorations are at Lily’s apartment now.
So Ted runs out to the Bronx to talk to Lily and on the way gets a call from Marshall who is psyched to come home to the decorations. Right after that he gets a call from his mother who got a call from Lily and is horrified at what Ted did. Ted shows up at Lily’s apartment and Ted apologizes. Lily calls him on his fake apology and it comes out that Ted thinks she should have apologized to him as well as Marshall because she walked out on both of them. They keep fighting and Ted leaves to spend Christmas with his super-religious cousin’s family.
Marshall comes home with a package for Lily and tells her how he got it. It was supposed to be delivered but got lost and rerouted, so he tracked it down to the truck and ended up helping the driver deliver all his packages before Christmas.
Lily opens the box and it’s the exact Easy-Bake Oven she wanted when she was little. She asks Marshall how he knew, and he tells her that a month previously Ted told him what Lily told him 8 years previously.
Ted’s having a horrible time at his cousin’s when everybody shows up so Lily can apologize. They forgive each other and go home to have Christmas.
The Mother- I have reservations about this episode. It’s funny but frustrating. And there’s not nearly enough Barney.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Season 2, Episode 10: Single Stamina
Oh! Poor me! I’m a pretty girl and everybody everywhere wants to buy me drinks and have sex with me.
Poor me! I get to order yummy pink drinks with chunks of real fruit that guys secretly like but can’t order because they’ll be made fun of.
Dude.
They’re delicious!
Barney’s brother comes into town and Barney is shocked to learn they may not be as alike as he previously thought.
Everyone- Ted and Robin and Lily and Marshall are deep in “couple hibernation” and poor Barney is left trying to hang out by himself. So his brother, James, comes to visit New York. The group fills Robin in that James is exactly like Barney, except that he’s gay. They just didn’t want Robin to be surprised. What they didn’t tell her is that James is black, played by the awesome Wayne Brady. And yes, James is exactly like Barney, if Barney were gay and black. Robin asks what the story is and they avoid the subject. Future Ted explains that Barney and James were told a lot of things over the years, all of which were ridiculous.
Barney and James are going out, where they are the perfect wingmen for each other. James pumps everybody up and they all head out to a bar. There, the couples are just looking for a place to sit down, while the singles are having a great time.
James blows off a hot guy and Lily points out that he’s done it numerous times. And they realize James in in a relationship. Then they tell Barney, who is horrified. Barney goes to James and takes his phone and finds a picture of James and a guy as the wallpaper. So James admits he’s engaged. Barney is disgusted that James is getting married (it’s not gay marriage he dislikes, just marriage). Barney even refuses to be James’ best man. The group reminds Barney he needs to be supportive, so Barney takes them all to a gay bar to celebrate James’ engagement. Barney is still fighting it, until James tells tells him they’re having a baby. And Barney is thrilled to become an uncle.
A year later James gets married, Marshall and Lily are married, and Robin and Ted aren’t adverse to staying out late as they were before.
The Mother- Does anybody else miss “Whose Line is it Anyway?” I sure do. I love Wayne Brady and you put him with NPH together and it’s almost too much awesomeness! And NPH with a baby? Too cute!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Season 2, Episode 9: Slap Bet
Seattle.
Trick question. Marshall’s never been to the Pacific Northwest because he’s afraid of Sasquatch.
Damn, you’re good
I’m not afraid of Sasquatch, I just think we should all be on alert.
When Robin refuses to go to the mall, the group tries to figure out why.
Everyone- Robin and Ted are still in the “learning everything about each other” stage and Future Ted explains some secrets are nice (she can make crepes) some are not so nice (how many guys she’s been with) and some are weird (afraid of Doc from Snow White). The group is going to the mall and Robin emphatically refuses to go. She continues to refuse to tell them which drives Ted crazy. Barney says a secret’s a good thing because the more you know about a person the greater chance you’ll learn a deal-breaker. Lily and Marshall side with Ted and say they tell each other everything. Barney doesn’t believe them and tries out a few incidents which Lily knows all about. They speculate a couple reasons why Robin hates the mall. Barney comes up with pornography and Marshall suggests that Robin was married in a mall. They realize Robin’s told them numerous times about a friend of hers who “got married way too young.” Ted still refuses to believe it.
Marshal and Barney make a bet about which it is (porn or marriage) and because Marshall doesn’t have money they agree to a slap bet. This means whoever’s right gets to slap the other in the face as hard as he can. Meanwhile Lily gets to be Slap Bet Commissioner and rule on any problems.
Ted “casually” brings up the subject with Robin and after he pushes she admits she got married, but asks him to not tell anyone.
Ted tells everybody else and Marshall slaps Barney. They try to reassure Ted that it’s not a big deal, and Marshall offers to look-up the laws on Canadian separation to see if Robin is still married. He comes home though and tells Ted that he checked all the records and can’t find a record of Robin being married.
In order to not admit he told Marshall, Ted asks her a bunch of questions to try and trip her up. Robin answers them all perfectly except when it comes to her husband’s name. Robin asks him how he found out she’s not married and Ted has to admit he told Marshall.
Barney confronts Marshall and we find out Lily told Barney, her defense being she’s Slap Bet Commissioner. She rule that Barney gets three slaps, one because Marshall lied and two for being prematurely slapped. Barney hauls off and smacks the crap out of Marshall.
Robin and Ted are still fighting when Lily, Marshall, and Barney show up in the apartment. Barney says that he got a phone call and knows Robin’s secret. Or should he say “Robin Sparkles?” He reveals he found a guy in Malaysia who had a videotape and uploaded it to MySpace for him. Ted doesn’t want to see it, but Barney pushes on. It starts with a young Robin in a school girl outfit asking a male teacher to not give her detention. And yes, it looks like porn. So Barney turns and spectacularly slaps Marshall. When Robin asked what just happened, Barney tells her about the Slap Bet and she reveals it’s not porn. No, no, it’s a really bad 80’s style music video about going to the mall. Robin tells them she was a teen pop star in Canada and had to travel around singing in malls.
Marshall brings up that it’s not porn, but he got slapped. So Lily rules that Barney has a choice: 10 immediate slaps, or 5 slaps that can be doled out from now to eternity. Robin would go for the 5 but Ted points out that the constant fear would drive a person crazy. But Barney ultimately goes for the 5, flinching anytime Marshall comes near. Ted apologizes for prying her secret out of her but Robin says it’s okay. And then Marshall backhands Barney out of his chair.
The Mother- I love, love, love! this episode. Super funny and totally surprising when Robin’s secret is revealed. And I love how this episode starts two of the most hilarious storylines that will continue through the season: Slap Bet and Robin Sparkles!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
January 5, 2011- “Pedicure” Barney
“If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure, I don’t think there would have been a feature about it in Details magazine.”
Season 2, Episode 8: Atlantic City
Congratulations, Lily. Marshall, you’re getting married? What the hell?
Marshall and Lily decide to elope in Atlantic City but find out it’s not that simple.
Everyone- Now that Marshall and Lily are back together, the subject of marriage gets brought up and Marshall makes Lily propose to him this time. They’re ecstatic until they realize that means they have to stand in front of everyone. Everyone who they had to tell that the previous wedding was off. Lily says she wishes they could run off to Atlantic City and get married and they run down and get Robin and Ted from work. They find Barney getting a pedicure, so they all get pedicures and head out.
Once there, Lily realizes she needs a veil, a bouquet, and Robin looks better than her so she needs to change. Robin leaves to find different clothes while Lily heads off to find a bouquet and Marshall and Ted go to gamble. Barney shows up with a veil and proposes a bachelor party and they end up going to a strip club. They all meet up at the wedding chapel, and Robin shows up in one of those big shirts that makes her look like she’s a babe in a bikini. But then they find out it takes three days to get a wedding license in New Jersey. So they head to the courthouse to see if they can get the waiting period waived. There they find out that only a judge can waive the waiting period, so they camp out until one walks by. They plead their case and he’s ready to give them what they want because of how long they’ve been together, until he notices a look that passes between them and Barney spills that they broke up over the summer. Back at the casino Lily comes up with the idea that they can find a ship captain and get married in international waters. Robin pulls Lily aside and asks her why it’s so important that they elope and Lily says otherwise they’ll have a huge wedding full of Marshall’s family, judging her. The guys find a ship captain who says he can marry them for $5,000.
Barney says he can get the money and explain that the Chinese guys who have been coming up to him all day are his old gambling buddies and he used to play a Chinese game all the time. Barney starts playing and Future Ted explains he’s never seen a game so complicated, and he still has no idea how it’s played. The game involves chips, tiles, dice, a wheel, and finding the jellybean. Marshall finally understands the game and coaches Barney in tripling his money.
They go out on the boat and as the ceremony starts, they realize they want the big wedding. And they call of their second wedding to start planning their third.
The Mother- I love the little moments in this episode. Robin leaving work in the middle of a broadcast and wearing the bikini shirt, Barney in the casino, the woman at the desk in the wedding chapel. But mostly i love the scene with Barney playing the game and it being completely confusing.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Season 2, Episode 7: Swarley
“Somebody’s got a crush on you.”
“Somebody thinks you’re me!”
Barney gets a new name and Marshall goes on a date, which causes Lily to face her feelings.
Everyone- The guys are at a coffee place (not as fun as the bar) when Ted points out that the coffee girl (played by the gorgeous Morena Baccarin) put a heart by Marshall’s name. Marshall says that she does always laugh at the [lame] joke he makes all the time. But as he doubts, Ted points out that his cup doesn’t have a heart, when Barney says the same thing, he notices that his cup says “Swarley.” So the guys start calling him Swarley (and Swarlz). So Marshall asks her out and she gives him her number.
Ted goes over to Robin’s to tell her about Marshall and when Lily shows up and invites them all over for a party the next night, they have to break it to her that Marshall has a date. She says they’ve been broken up for 6 months so she’s fine with it. The next night Ted and Barney run into Marshall and Chloe (coffee girl) at the bar. When she goes to the bathroom Marshall tells them how much he likes her, and they tell him she has crazy eyes. Barney tells them about a hot girl he met who had crazy eyes that he ignored, and he almost ended up having a threesome with her and a stuffed bear. Creepy. Marshall refuses to believe it but later that week (?) Marshall gets a call from a scared Chloe. She says that a midget guy has been following her, screaming at her. And she just keeps sounding crazier, saying that the guy had a hump and a limp, and that the police didn’t believe her.
But Marshall pushes on and invites her up to his apartment after a date. Everything seems to be fine, until Marshall finds a broken picture of him and Lily and think that Chloe broke it. He looks into her eyes to see the crazy and she starts to lean in to kiss him. And that’s when Lily jumps over the back of the couch to stop them.
So we flash back to Lily’s side of the story. Three days previously, after finding out about Marshall’s date, Robin and Lily meet at the bar where Lily is freaking out over the date. She goes to the coffee shop to check Chloe out (and talks to Tom Lenk who played Andrew on BTVS) but finds out Chloe just left. It starts raining as she goes after Chloe, so Lily throws her coat over her backpack (hump) and hunches over (midget). Lily runs into a pipe (limp) and starts yelling at Chloe to get her to turn around. Eventually, she does and Lily is crushed to find out she’s hot. She meets up with Robin at the bar and they head upstairs to call Barney Swarley some more, where Lily notices that the picture of her and Marshall is no longer up. Lily sneaks back into the apartment that night and puts up the picture so Marshall will feel guilty, but Marshall comes back and she knocks the picture over and hides behind the couch. Finally, she just can’t take it anymore and jumps. She embarrassedly leaves and Marshall finds her crying on the front steps. Lily confesses everything and Marshall realizes Chloe’s not crazy. But rather than go back up, Marshall stays out with Lily and realizes Lily’s crazy, but he loves her. And the two get back together. Everyone goes out for a drink to celebrate, but when they get back to the apartment, they find Chloe has torn the apartment apart “looking for her keys.” She leaves and everybody goes about their business.
The Mother- I love this episode! I love Swarley. I love Chloe. I love hunchback, limping, midget Lily. Isn’t Morena Baccarin just gorgeous? If you get a chance, watch her on Firefly, you’ll totally fall in love with her.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Season 2, Episode 6: Aldrin Justice
“It was an amazing safari. I can’t wait to show you guys the slides!”
Lily gets a job at Ted’s firm and dishes out her own form of justice on his boss, while Barney tries to get Marshall a better grade in one of his classes.
Lily & Ted- Lily is trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life, but in the meantime is working at a Hawaiian restaurant, where she has to wear a ridiculous outfit and say embarrassing things. She finally quits, and Ted gets her a job as an office assistant in his firm. She is horrified at how his boss, Druthers, treats everyone and after Druthers is especially awful, Ted finds Druther’s baseball that's been signed 3 times by Pete Rose in Lily’s desk. When he confronts her about it, she says she took away his ball to teach him to not be mean. She explains that she used to do the same thing when she taught kindergarten, she calls it justice. But the next day, when Druthers finds the note telling him to be nicer or more things will disappear, he tells everyone that if the ball’s not back by the end of the day, three people will be fired an hour until it’s returned the next day. lily says she’ll give it back if Ted will show Druthers his plan for what the building should be. Ted replies that she gives the ball back or she’s fired. And when she refuses, he fires her. The next day, the client comes to see the building design and is horrified to find it looks like a penis. Rather than lose the client, Ted proposes his design. The client takes it and makes Ted project manager. Ted credits Lily for giving him the backbone to do it, and offers her the job back, but she’s figured out what she should be, a kindergarten teacher.
Marshall & Barney- One of Marshall’s teacher grades harshly and when he says that she just needs to get laid, Barney accepts the challenge to land a cougar. They go to Marshall’s school and Marshall points out his professor, played by Jane Seymour, and Barney outlines the defining characteristics of a cougar:
| The Hair | The cougar keeps up with current hairstyles as a form of camouflage. The prey may not realize that he’s engaged a cougar until he’s already being dragged, helpless, back to her lair. |
| The Blouse | The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her prey. If you’re watching the bounce, she’s about to pounce. |
| The Claws | Long and sharp, to ward off rival females, or open alimony checks. |
Barney goes in playing an Italian exchange student, but when she abruptly asks him what he wants, he drops the act and tells her he wants her. After they sleep together, he thought it was incredible, but she gives him a C-.
Marshall asks him what happened when the next day they had a pop quiz and no one got higher than a C-. Barney says he miscalculated, but now he knows better. That night though, she is still unimpressed. The next night, Barney fuels up and goes over. He tells her he’s been holding back, but now he’ll make it happen, and she begrudgingly agrees. The group finds Barney at the hospital with a dislocated hip. The professor tells Marshall she graded his paper, B+. Barney is outraged and says he’ll try for the A, but Marshall tells him he should be proud and let her go. He fought the cougar and lived.
The Mother- I’m back! Did everybody have a good holiday. Mine could have been better, the munchkins gave me a cold halfway through the trip. I’m torn on this episode. I like it while I’m watching it, but whenever I think about it, I don’t really like it. I do love that for once Barney’s not great in bed and the Justice Khakis. But all in all? Eh.
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