“It was an amazing safari. I can’t wait to show you guys the slides!”
Lily gets a job at Ted’s firm and dishes out her own form of justice on his boss, while Barney tries to get Marshall a better grade in one of his classes.
Lily & Ted- Lily is trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life, but in the meantime is working at a Hawaiian restaurant, where she has to wear a ridiculous outfit and say embarrassing things. She finally quits, and Ted gets her a job as an office assistant in his firm. She is horrified at how his boss, Druthers, treats everyone and after Druthers is especially awful, Ted finds Druther’s baseball that's been signed 3 times by Pete Rose in Lily’s desk. When he confronts her about it, she says she took away his ball to teach him to not be mean. She explains that she used to do the same thing when she taught kindergarten, she calls it justice. But the next day, when Druthers finds the note telling him to be nicer or more things will disappear, he tells everyone that if the ball’s not back by the end of the day, three people will be fired an hour until it’s returned the next day. lily says she’ll give it back if Ted will show Druthers his plan for what the building should be. Ted replies that she gives the ball back or she’s fired. And when she refuses, he fires her. The next day, the client comes to see the building design and is horrified to find it looks like a penis. Rather than lose the client, Ted proposes his design. The client takes it and makes Ted project manager. Ted credits Lily for giving him the backbone to do it, and offers her the job back, but she’s figured out what she should be, a kindergarten teacher.
Marshall & Barney- One of Marshall’s teacher grades harshly and when he says that she just needs to get laid, Barney accepts the challenge to land a cougar. They go to Marshall’s school and Marshall points out his professor, played by Jane Seymour, and Barney outlines the defining characteristics of a cougar:
| The Hair | The cougar keeps up with current hairstyles as a form of camouflage. The prey may not realize that he’s engaged a cougar until he’s already being dragged, helpless, back to her lair. |
| The Blouse | The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her prey. If you’re watching the bounce, she’s about to pounce. |
| The Claws | Long and sharp, to ward off rival females, or open alimony checks. |
Barney goes in playing an Italian exchange student, but when she abruptly asks him what he wants, he drops the act and tells her he wants her. After they sleep together, he thought it was incredible, but she gives him a C-.
Marshall asks him what happened when the next day they had a pop quiz and no one got higher than a C-. Barney says he miscalculated, but now he knows better. That night though, she is still unimpressed. The next night, Barney fuels up and goes over. He tells her he’s been holding back, but now he’ll make it happen, and she begrudgingly agrees. The group finds Barney at the hospital with a dislocated hip. The professor tells Marshall she graded his paper, B+. Barney is outraged and says he’ll try for the A, but Marshall tells him he should be proud and let her go. He fought the cougar and lived.
The Mother- I’m back! Did everybody have a good holiday. Mine could have been better, the munchkins gave me a cold halfway through the trip. I’m torn on this episode. I like it while I’m watching it, but whenever I think about it, I don’t really like it. I do love that for once Barney’s not great in bed and the Justice Khakis. But all in all? Eh.
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