Seattle.
Trick question. Marshall’s never been to the Pacific Northwest because he’s afraid of Sasquatch.
Damn, you’re good
I’m not afraid of Sasquatch, I just think we should all be on alert.
When Robin refuses to go to the mall, the group tries to figure out why.
Everyone- Robin and Ted are still in the “learning everything about each other” stage and Future Ted explains some secrets are nice (she can make crepes) some are not so nice (how many guys she’s been with) and some are weird (afraid of Doc from Snow White). The group is going to the mall and Robin emphatically refuses to go. She continues to refuse to tell them which drives Ted crazy. Barney says a secret’s a good thing because the more you know about a person the greater chance you’ll learn a deal-breaker. Lily and Marshall side with Ted and say they tell each other everything. Barney doesn’t believe them and tries out a few incidents which Lily knows all about. They speculate a couple reasons why Robin hates the mall. Barney comes up with pornography and Marshall suggests that Robin was married in a mall. They realize Robin’s told them numerous times about a friend of hers who “got married way too young.” Ted still refuses to believe it.
Marshal and Barney make a bet about which it is (porn or marriage) and because Marshall doesn’t have money they agree to a slap bet. This means whoever’s right gets to slap the other in the face as hard as he can. Meanwhile Lily gets to be Slap Bet Commissioner and rule on any problems.
Ted “casually” brings up the subject with Robin and after he pushes she admits she got married, but asks him to not tell anyone.
Ted tells everybody else and Marshall slaps Barney. They try to reassure Ted that it’s not a big deal, and Marshall offers to look-up the laws on Canadian separation to see if Robin is still married. He comes home though and tells Ted that he checked all the records and can’t find a record of Robin being married.
In order to not admit he told Marshall, Ted asks her a bunch of questions to try and trip her up. Robin answers them all perfectly except when it comes to her husband’s name. Robin asks him how he found out she’s not married and Ted has to admit he told Marshall.
Barney confronts Marshall and we find out Lily told Barney, her defense being she’s Slap Bet Commissioner. She rule that Barney gets three slaps, one because Marshall lied and two for being prematurely slapped. Barney hauls off and smacks the crap out of Marshall.
Robin and Ted are still fighting when Lily, Marshall, and Barney show up in the apartment. Barney says that he got a phone call and knows Robin’s secret. Or should he say “Robin Sparkles?” He reveals he found a guy in Malaysia who had a videotape and uploaded it to MySpace for him. Ted doesn’t want to see it, but Barney pushes on. It starts with a young Robin in a school girl outfit asking a male teacher to not give her detention. And yes, it looks like porn. So Barney turns and spectacularly slaps Marshall. When Robin asked what just happened, Barney tells her about the Slap Bet and she reveals it’s not porn. No, no, it’s a really bad 80’s style music video about going to the mall. Robin tells them she was a teen pop star in Canada and had to travel around singing in malls.
Marshall brings up that it’s not porn, but he got slapped. So Lily rules that Barney has a choice: 10 immediate slaps, or 5 slaps that can be doled out from now to eternity. Robin would go for the 5 but Ted points out that the constant fear would drive a person crazy. But Barney ultimately goes for the 5, flinching anytime Marshall comes near. Ted apologizes for prying her secret out of her but Robin says it’s okay. And then Marshall backhands Barney out of his chair.
The Mother- I love, love, love! this episode. Super funny and totally surprising when Robin’s secret is revealed. And I love how this episode starts two of the most hilarious storylines that will continue through the season: Slap Bet and Robin Sparkles!
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