Barney, you want my Xbox?
She has a name!
Future Ted explains we’ve finally come to his 30th birthday, the story of “The Goat.” That week started like any other, Barney woke up in some girl’s bed, only this time it’s Robin’s. They have some awkward conversation, and Robin says that when her feet hit the floor it never happened. So Robin gets up, and Barney jokes about “Nailing the chick from Metro News One last night.” Unfortunately, Barney can’t seem to forget about it though, and is horrifically awkward with Ted, but Robin seems to have to problem with it.
Later that day Barney hires Marshall as a lawyer. Barney tells him he slept with Robin and because he “broke the ‘Bro Code’ so he needs Marshall to find a loophole in it. Future Ted explains a little about the “list of do’s and don’ts for all bros.”
Article 1: Bros before hoes.
Article 89: The mom of a bro is always off limits, but the stepmom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it, and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing.
Article 34: Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil’s three-way (two dudes).
Marshall says its not a legal document and Barney explains that George Washington and Benjamin Franklin thought there should be a “Bro Code” and had Barnabus Stinson draft it.
Meanwhile, Farmer Frank brought Missy the Goat to Lily’s kindergarten class and told the kids where meat comes from. So Lily brings her home and animal rescue will be coming on Monday. Ted’s pissed because he doesn’t want the goat there (I can’t blame him).
Marshall shows up just behind Robin and it blushing, coughing, and shaking when he sees her, so she corners him in the kitchen and says that Barney told him. Marshall denies knowledge, but Robin says that Ted is never finding out about it.
Marshall shows back up in Barney’s office and says that the Bro Code is ironclad. Barney brings up that if Ted’s broken the Bro Code then he’s off the hook. But Marshall says that Ted’s upheld it time and time again.
Article 87: A bro shall at all times say yes. (Barney saved Ted from an avalanche, carried him to safety on his broken leg, and is a pre-surgery transsexual nightclub singer who used to be in the Russian mob.)
Article 29: A bro will, in a timely manner, alert his bro to the existence of a girl fight.
Article 53: A bro will, whenever possible, provide his bro with protection. (Little foil wrappers through the window, and then went to get them wine.)
Barney’s upset and Marshall says that the only way he’s going to feel better is to tell Ted what he did.
April 25, 2008 Ted’s 30th birthday (aka The Day of the Goat) Barney’s waiting outside Ted’s office in a limo to take him to the apartment for his “surprise” party on the roof. Barney is taking Ted to Vegas though. Barney is finally going to tell Ted, but Ted reveals that earlier Robin had blurted it out. Ted says he’s not mad, and Barney’s relieved. Then Ted starts yelling at him. Barney says that Ted can hit him anywhere but the face and Ted punches him in the groin. Ted tells him that he’s seen Barney do bad stuff but he always thought he was the line. Finally, Ted tells Barney that week he’d started putting stuff in a box labeled “Stuff I Have No Use For Anymore” and maybe Barney belongs in that box. Ted doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Ted gets out of the limo and gets a cab home.
When he gets home he goes up on the roof and everybody’s there to surprise him. Future Ted starts to tell the story of how the goat locked itself in the bathroom and was eating one of Robin’s washcloths when he realizes that Robin wasn’t living there on his 30th birthday. The goat story is from his 31st birthday.
The Mother- It kills me to see Barney so hurt. But it is kinda cute with him relaxing in Robin’s bed that morning, like he belongs there.
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