But you hate marriage. Why do you want to perform the ceremony?
Because, it subtly implants in the mind of every woman there that when I ask a question you say, “I do.”
Marshall and Lily are getting married at the Van Smoot mansion, which was not what they originally had in mind.
Eight Months to Wedding:
Outdoor, beautiful garden
Small, 25 people, just family and friends
Acoustic guitar
Six Months:
Triple digit guest list
Five Months:
Indoor wedding
Three Months:
Harp player
1 hour 38 Minutes:
The harp player is hugely pregnant (due last Tuesday), but Lily is determined to not be one of those brides, who wants her wedding perfect. Barney comes in and asks who “Bill” is because a guy came up to him and asked him when someone should object during a wedding. It turns out “Bill” is Scooter’s real name, and Lily’s mom must have invited him. Scooter shows up in Lily's dressing room, and he proclaims his love for her and that he wants to win her back.
Forty-Seven Minutes:
Barney send Marshall's friend Brad in to get rid of Scooter. Of course Brad is huge and Scooter runs away from him.
Barney discovers that anyone will do anything if it’s “for the bride.” Including getting a girl to give him her number.
Forty Minutes:
Brad comes in and tells them he tackled some guy he thought was Scooter, but it turned out to be the photographer. Lily’s not letting it bother her though.
Thirty-Three Minutes:
The flowers won’t be coming until halfway through the ceremony.
Twenty-Eight Minutes:
Her veil is found in the parking lot.
Twenty-Four Minutes:
The harpist’s water breaks, but she’s going to try to make it through the ceremony.
Twenty-One Minutes:
Robin finds she forgot Lily’s “wedding panties.” But Lily says it’s fine, she’s marrying Marshall. Then she completely freaks out. But Robin takes her outside to have a cigarette and Lily calms down.
Meanwhile, Marshall comes in from having his hair cut and it turns out the girl gave him frosted tips. (He seriously looks like a Backstreet Boy.)
Seventeen Minutes:
Marshall is freaking out, and he says that Lily’s not going to want to marry him looking like that. Rather than thinking logically and sending someone out to get some hair dye, Marshall just shaves his head. Then he completely freaks out because Ted just let him shave his head. Ted runs out and tries to find something to cover Marshall’s head.
Thirteen Minutes:
They try a toupee from Uncle Ben but it looks awful. Then Brad comes in and Marshall finds out Scooter’s there. So they decide to go for a walk outside. Once there, Lily and Marshall run into each other. They’re talking about how they far away from their original plan this wedding is, when Ted realizes that they could have the wedding they wanted. They’re outside, it’s just a small group, and Barney can officiate (he got ordained or whatever earlier in the episode). So they decide to do both weddings, because when everything goes wrong inside, they’ll have already gotten married. They borrow a hat from the gardener, and Barney starts the ceremony. Barney nearly cries through the whole thing, but it’s a sweet ceremony. They forgot their vows so they just go off the cuff, and it’s perfectly them.
The ceremony inside is pretty bad, but they have the memories from their first wedding.
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