…dary! Legendary!
Future Ted tells his kids that they know the short story of how he met their mother, the thing with her yellow umbrella, but there’s a long story about the man he had to become before he could meet her.
And that story begins right after Marshall and Lily’s wedding. Ted and Robin broke up two weeks previously and Barney instantly starts trying to set him up (girl with right boob bigger than left boob). But first he has to go through his routine. Robin went to Argentina for a while and he started by growing his “break-up beard” (judges at the Miss Nassau County pageant selling their votes). He repainted his apartment (finish line of a woman’s 10K; salty girls on an endorphin high who just want to lie down). He was doing good (female acrobats from Montreal). Robin shows up from her trip to Argentina with Gael (Enrique Iglesias). This brings up that after a breakup there is a competition between the couple, and Robin is winning with Gael. So Ted decides to start dating again so that he can win.
Awkwardly, Lily (entranced by Gael) asked them to have dinner with her and Marshall. But it’s not going well because Robin is stressing over Ted, Lily's in love with Gael, and Marshall’s just incredibly suspicious of the guy.
When they go down to the bar, Ted starts making out with tattooed Amy (Mandy Moore). Barney wants to leave because “it’s totally dead” but Amy tells him off and then they just start making out again. For once, Barney is the one being lame, and Amy is cool and dangerous. They’re in Amy’s hot tub and Ted compliments her tattoos, so she tells him he should get one. Barney thinks it’s a bad idea, because he wouldn’t look good in them. Turns out Amy’s hot tub is actually the hot tub of the people she used to nanny for. And Ted leaves with Amy to get a tattoo. They’re planning out his tattoo, and then Future Ted explains, that’s all he remembers. He woke up the next morning alone at home. He thinks that he didn’t go through with the tattoo, but we see that he got a butterfly tramp stamp. But, Marshall and Lily see the tattoo, and they call Barney to come over and see it, but they don’t tell Ted. Barney ends up hitting Ted on the back and he realizes that he has a tramp stamp. And then her remembers what happened the night before.
At the tattoo parlor it turns out the tattoo artist is Amy’s ex-boyfriend, which explains the tattoo.
Then Ted finds some Spanish massage oil, and he asks Marshall and Lily what happened the night before. The evening got really odd with Gael playing the guitar for the three entranced friends. And eventually, giving Marshall a massage.
Ted storms out and goes to Robin’s apartment, he tells her that this isn’t some “I came all the way over here because I want you back” thing. But, he tells her, it sucks that she is with Gael now, and they had a very rational breakup, but now he needs to yell. She apologizes for showing up with Gael. And he says that it sucks that she got over him so fast. And she admits that she was just trying to survive the breakup. And then she tells Ted that he was better because he was bigger (you know what I mean?) and he “wins” the breakup.
And in that last little scene before the credits, Marshall calls Barney and directs him to a website called, slapcountdown.com which shows this:
It’s baaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!
The Mother- I love this episode. I love everybody loving Gael. I love Mandy Moore as Amy. And I love the hint of the Slap Bet! But most importantly, I love that this is evidently getting us on our way to meeting The Mother.
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