Where’s my wife?
Ted’s dating “Blah-Blah” (please call me, “Blah”), Future Ted explains that it was 23 years previously, he can’t remember everything, and he introduces her to everyone. Blah seems a little crazy, but Barney says it’s okay if she’s an equal amount hot to the amount crazy. Ted tells Lily and Marshall to tell the story of how they met:
the year 1996: As a Freshman in college, Lily needed help setting up her stereo and for some odd reason, felt drawn to room 110, and there, Marshall opened the door and it was love at first sight.
Blah asks Robin and Barney how they met and Robin is adamant that she and Barney are not together. Blah is a little pissed, but not hiding it, that Robin is hot, single, and friends with Ted. So Ted tries to distract her by telling about how he met Marshall.
the year 1996: Marshall was “eating a sandwich” in hid dorm room when one of the other kids tells him the dean is coming and he needs to put out “the sandwich.” So when Ted walks in and Marshall thinks he’s the dean.
Blah’s incredibly hostile to Robin and then gets defensive when Robin says there’s not anything going on between her and Ted. So Ted begs Barney to tell how they met.
the year 2001: A goatee-d Ted is in the bathroom and at the urinal next to him, Barney says that he’s taking his deaf brtoher out for the first time since their mom died. He goes on about how hard it is and how he’s had to put his dreams on hold. When Ted offers his condolences, Barney’s surprised it worked, so it’ll definitely work on a chick. 15 minutes later, Barney sits down next to Ted and tells him to lose the goatee, get a suit, not think about getting married until he’s 30, and be silent for the next 5 minutes. The girl Barney’s been conning comes over and Barney introduces his “deaf brother Edward.” Unfortunately, the girl knows sign language, and luckily for Barney, Ted knows it too and gets Barney her number. Ted breaks the truth to Barney that he’d actually told the girl Barney was lying to her and to give him a fake number.
Barney’s mad so he tells Blah that Ted and Robin dated. And then Robin digs the hole deeper by saying that the relationship wasn’t that good, and neither was the sex, but it was probably just her, and so on. In order to get Blah to calm down, Ted tells her that before Marshall and Lily met there was a party and Ted met Lily and invited her to his room sometime. And then he and Lily ended up making out. Lily was really drunk, and the next morning the only thing she remember was Room 110. Ted swears Blah to secrecy, but she says that he has to tell Marshall and if he won’t she will.
Blah tells Lily to tell the real story of how she met Ted, and she tells about how Ted was crying on the phone to his girlfriend back home over the guilt of making out with Lily. So Ted pulls Lily away and she has no idea what he’s talking about. When Lily hears about the story, she’s horrified that the only other guy (who’s name she doesn’t remember) she made-out with in college was Ted.
The first time Marshall met Barney, Barney couldn’t believe Marshall had only slept with one girl. So, Barney was going to be his mentor on picking up chicks, starting with the hot redhead who just walked in. So Marshall “gives in” and goes to get her, and ends up making out with her.
Ted and Lily tell Marshall about the party, and Marshall says that he was at that party and names the two people they actually made out with. Blah asks Ted if he really believes that and when Ted says he does, she freaks out and leaves.
Future Ted explains that he still believed that he did make out with Lily, until their 20th college reunion when he ran into the girl Marshall said he made out with. And she reminds him about what really happened. And at that reunion the three of them end up “eating a sandwich” together in the hallway, just like old times.
The Mother- I love that we get to hear how everybody else met. It’s a little like the episode of Friends where everybody “almost does it.”
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