If you want get to the bottom of this, you’re going to need a stronger stomach than that, dollface.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Season 3, Episode 7: Dowisetrepla
“Ew, Ted!”
Marshall and Lily are starting to outgrow living with Ted. So, they start looking to rent a new apartment. But, Marshall decides they should rent. Little does he know that Lily has massive amounts of debt (See I'm Not That Guy). Lily tries to talk Marshall out of it, but he’s made up his mind so they go to look at the place. They get there and rather than admitting that the place is way out of their price range Marshall wants to get it. They invite everybody over to see it. Marshall’s super excited, but Robin pulls Lily aside and tells Lily she needs to tell Marshall about the debt. Lily ends up not telling Marshall and they decide to go for the apartment.
Lily tries to get the loan only under Marshall’s name, but they have to have Lily's info too. Their loan has a huge interest rate, and the banker tells them it’s because of Lily’s credit card debt.
When everybody else gets in the apartment they find evidence of Lily and Marshall’s blow-out fight. And Robin tells the boys about Lily’s debt and they don’t believe her. But when they hit redial on the phone it calls a divorce attorney. They’re horrified and Robin says that Lily’s going to get her and Marshall’s going to get Ted and Barney. Barney is especially distraught. Lily and Marshall come back and tell everyone what happened. Lily called the divorce attorney so they can separate on paper so Marshall can get the loan alone. But Marshall refuses, and he says he married her and her problems. They also announce that they got the apartment.
Marshall and Lily are horrified to find that their apartment is “Downwind of the sewage treatment plant” or “DOWISETREPLA”
Barney gets the lock box code for the apartment and brings a girl over. She wants a commitment, and he’s telling her everything she wants to hear. After he sleeps with her, he just leaves her in the apartment.
The Mother- Not my favorite episode, but I do love the CSI-esque figuring out the fight scene.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Season 3, Episode 6: I’m Not That Guy
Very funny Wendy, now we know you watch porn!
Barney comes bursting in with big news, he found a porno starring “Ted Mosby” (which explains some creepy things his doctor said). So, they plug the video, and then the girls come in. They find out that “Ted Mosby” is getting pretty famous and while looking at what he’s done lately it turns out that Ted mistakenly did an interview for AVW (Adult Video Weekly or as Ted thought, Architecture Vision Weekly), which was bizarre.
Then they find out that “Ted Mosby” has the same hometown as Ted. SO they decide go to a Porn Convention where the guy will be signing autograph. Barney and Ted meet “Ted Mosby” and he tells Ted his name is Steve Biel. He was in 4th grade when Ted was in 9th. One day after school a bunch of 7th graders were beating up Steve and Ted pulled them off him. Steve vowed to honor Ted when he’d made something of himself. Ted tells him he should stop using his name, and Steve is disappointed. Ted says that the guy who actually saved Steve was “Lance Hardwood.” But the guy thinks that would be the great title of a movie, “Lance Hardwood, Sex Architect” starring Ted Mosby.
Meanwhile, Marshall got a job at the NRDC, his environmental dream job. But, he still has a job interview at a firm that is an ecological disaster. The guy who interviews him is totally different than what he was expecting (young and cool) and the guy is seducing Marshall. Marshall says he’s not going to continue to interview with them, but Lily pushes Marshall to do it anyway.
At dinner, the guy keeps throwing money and stuff at Marshall. And Marshall resists, until the guy points out that if Marshall works for them he’ll have money and security. Turns out, a big plus for Marshall taking this job would be the fact that Lily has a major spending problem. She has an insane amount of credit cards, and an unknown amount of debit. Robin’s horrified, and can’t believe that Lily hasn’t told Marshall about any of it. And Robin realizes that Lily's been pushing Marshall to take the high-paying job.
Marshall stays out so late, that he crashes on the guy’s couch. The next morning he has to do “the walk of shame” that walk home after you did something you regret the night before, like take a job offer. When he gets home, Lily’s ready to reveal her debt, but Marshall blurts out that he took the job. He’s disgusted with himself, but it’s so much money. Barney advises him to take the money because money buys happiness. Robin tells Lily to tell Marshall because it’ll help him make the decision. But Lily tells him to take the NRDC job. Marshall calls to turn down the job, but the guy takes him to an amusement park. So Marshall tells the guy he can’t take the job and the guy tells him that if he takes the job his only client will be the amusement park. Turns out, the amusement park is actually evil.
The Mother- How awkward would it be to find out there’s a porn star using your name? Anybody else reminded of that episode of Friends where they think Phoebe’s a porn star?
Monday, February 21, 2011
Season 3, Episode 5: How I Met Everyone Else
Where’s my wife?
Ted’s dating “Blah-Blah” (please call me, “Blah”), Future Ted explains that it was 23 years previously, he can’t remember everything, and he introduces her to everyone. Blah seems a little crazy, but Barney says it’s okay if she’s an equal amount hot to the amount crazy. Ted tells Lily and Marshall to tell the story of how they met:
the year 1996: As a Freshman in college, Lily needed help setting up her stereo and for some odd reason, felt drawn to room 110, and there, Marshall opened the door and it was love at first sight.
Blah asks Robin and Barney how they met and Robin is adamant that she and Barney are not together. Blah is a little pissed, but not hiding it, that Robin is hot, single, and friends with Ted. So Ted tries to distract her by telling about how he met Marshall.
the year 1996: Marshall was “eating a sandwich” in hid dorm room when one of the other kids tells him the dean is coming and he needs to put out “the sandwich.” So when Ted walks in and Marshall thinks he’s the dean.
Blah’s incredibly hostile to Robin and then gets defensive when Robin says there’s not anything going on between her and Ted. So Ted begs Barney to tell how they met.
the year 2001: A goatee-d Ted is in the bathroom and at the urinal next to him, Barney says that he’s taking his deaf brtoher out for the first time since their mom died. He goes on about how hard it is and how he’s had to put his dreams on hold. When Ted offers his condolences, Barney’s surprised it worked, so it’ll definitely work on a chick. 15 minutes later, Barney sits down next to Ted and tells him to lose the goatee, get a suit, not think about getting married until he’s 30, and be silent for the next 5 minutes. The girl Barney’s been conning comes over and Barney introduces his “deaf brother Edward.” Unfortunately, the girl knows sign language, and luckily for Barney, Ted knows it too and gets Barney her number. Ted breaks the truth to Barney that he’d actually told the girl Barney was lying to her and to give him a fake number.
Barney’s mad so he tells Blah that Ted and Robin dated. And then Robin digs the hole deeper by saying that the relationship wasn’t that good, and neither was the sex, but it was probably just her, and so on. In order to get Blah to calm down, Ted tells her that before Marshall and Lily met there was a party and Ted met Lily and invited her to his room sometime. And then he and Lily ended up making out. Lily was really drunk, and the next morning the only thing she remember was Room 110. Ted swears Blah to secrecy, but she says that he has to tell Marshall and if he won’t she will.
Blah tells Lily to tell the real story of how she met Ted, and she tells about how Ted was crying on the phone to his girlfriend back home over the guilt of making out with Lily. So Ted pulls Lily away and she has no idea what he’s talking about. When Lily hears about the story, she’s horrified that the only other guy (who’s name she doesn’t remember) she made-out with in college was Ted.
The first time Marshall met Barney, Barney couldn’t believe Marshall had only slept with one girl. So, Barney was going to be his mentor on picking up chicks, starting with the hot redhead who just walked in. So Marshall “gives in” and goes to get her, and ends up making out with her.
Ted and Lily tell Marshall about the party, and Marshall says that he was at that party and names the two people they actually made out with. Blah asks Ted if he really believes that and when Ted says he does, she freaks out and leaves.
Future Ted explains that he still believed that he did make out with Lily, until their 20th college reunion when he ran into the girl Marshall said he made out with. And she reminds him about what really happened. And at that reunion the three of them end up “eating a sandwich” together in the hallway, just like old times.
The Mother- I love that we get to hear how everybody else met. It’s a little like the episode of Friends where everybody “almost does it.”
Friday, February 18, 2011
Season 3, Episode 4: Little Boys
I love sports cars, it that doesn’t mean I want to push a Ferrari through my vagina.
Shotgun.
Lily wants to set Robin up with a great guy she knows and the group pushes until they find out what the “but” is (i.e., restraining orders, babying her dog, huge butt, etc.) and finally Lily reveals he has a kid. Except Robin hates kids. BUT, Robin agrees to meet the guy, regardless.
Robin comes back from his date and says that “George” is a great guy, but she’s a little apprehensive about meeting the kid.
Barney is trying to get Ted to wear an eye-patch to pick up women, but Ted insists that guys with game don’t need eye-patches. Marshall shows up and says that he has the most game because he’s married which is “winning” the game. But Barney and Ted are still fighting over who has the most game. They decide to pick out a girl and whoever can pick her up wins. Barney gets slapped, and it turns out he slept with her like a year previously. Barney says they’re going to have to pick another girl, but Ted says it’s still on and goes after her.
Robin is really struggling with this guy, and finally confesses that she’s not a kid person. They agree to take it slow, but end up sleeping together and the next morning, guess who shows up. The kid’s a classic 6-year-old, kinda annoying but kinda cute too. Ted is dating “Stacy” the girl from the bar, but the problem is he really started to like her. Marshall’s still trying to prove he’s got just as much game as the other guys. He shows up having done the math and he and Lily have had sex 1053.5 times. But the guys says it counts as 1. Barney tries to psyche Ted out by bringing up that he’s already slept with her.
Robin’s excited because the kid really seems to like her. But then she says she’s going to have to break it off because the kid’s getting too serious. Except, the kid’s already attached to her, he already drew a picture of her labeling it “My New Mommy.”
Ted goes to sleep with Stacy but he can’t stop imagining tiny Barney’s crawling all over her.
Robin goes to see the kid, and realizes that the kid hasn’t been dumped before. So she uses all the clichés in the book, and then she finds out that George has also been dating a different girl, the girl from the picture.
Ted admits to the guys that he couldn’t sleep with Stacy. Then Barney admits that he really went up to the girl and told her that Ted was interested in her but too shy, so would she slap him to make Ted think that she didn’t go for guys who do lines. So now, he’s going to look great. Everything Ted was telling him about her, Barney was using to score points. So Barney’s there to swoop in when she’s upset over the break-up.
Except, a month later, she’s still taking things slow in getting over Ted. So Barney’s still waiting.
The Mother- Gah! Get to The Mother already! I mean seriously. We’ve had nothing lately.
Note: My apologies about being MIA lately. Between putting in 9-10 hour days at work and not getting home until after 8 every night I just haven’t had the time or energy to keep up with this. Hopefully, life will slow down in the next couple weeks.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Season 3, Episode 3: The Third Wheel
Please! He’s really cute and I really like him, and he’s got a British accent!
I’m on my way.
Ted calls Barney, in a panic, from the bathroom and tells him he’s going for “the belt.” Barney says this is impossible, because Ted was just in the apartment half an hour before. Turns out, Marshall and Barney were supposed to meet Ted in the bar, but were too caught up in Wii tennis to go with him. So, Ted ends up alone at the bar, where he runs into Trudy. Trudy is the girl from “The Pineapple Incident.” Ted is funny and charming, and they’re really hitting it off, when Trudy runs into Rachel a sorority sister. And the girls invite Ted to stay with them.
Marshall and Barney are still playing tennis (It’s Wimbledon baby!) when Ted calls for advice. The girls are competitive over him and he doesn’t know which one to go for. Lily butts in and comes down to the bar to help him decide. Lily observes for a few minutes and then calls Ted to tell him that both girls want him.
Robin is out on a date with a doctor and originally she hadn’t shaved her legs because then she wouldn’t sleep with the guy, but after she realizes how much she likes him she asks Lily to bring her a razor.
The girls are talking about a guy they were fighting over in college, and it turns out they always wanted to a threesome with him. Also referred to as a “tricycle.” So, Ted called Barney because they have this running joke that whoever pulls it off first wins the “championship belt.” Which is an actual huge gold belt. When he comes out of the bathroom, the girls are going to leave, but they suggest that maybe they could listen to that cd he was talking about, so the three of them head upstairs.
Robin desperately calls Lily again, but Lily can’t leave now. So she pays the waitress $50 to buy her a razor from the drugstore across the street. The waitress brings the razor but not shaving cream, and Robin ends up using butter instead and falling over in the bathroom.
Lily gets a text from Ted that they’re “coming up sars” and everybody ends up frantically running around the apartment trying to get out of the living room. Ted’s incredibly nervous and awkward with the girls, and when he goes into his bedroom to get the cd, he finds everyone in his room. He freaks out, and they tell him he can use Lily and Marshall’s room instead. He asks Barney to hand him the cd, the only thing left for him to seal the deal, and Barney breaks it in half. He says that the belt is his birthright, not Ted’s. Also, Lily goes to peek at the girls and finds out that Rachel is the same girl who stole a pair of boots from her at a shoe sale earlier that day. Ted pays her for the boots she lost, and goes out to tell the girls he can’t find the cd.
Ted wimps out and goes to get the girls’ coats. Turns out, Barney also wimped out the time he had a chance at the belt, and he gives Ted a pep talk and walk him through how to seduce them. But when Ted goes out to the living room the girls are gone. But then he hears them in Marshall and Lily’s bedroom, where we flash to everyone in the bar. Ted won’t tell Barney who’s having a fit because Ted won’t tell him whether or not he did.
The Mother- Not my favorite episode. Robin’s story doesn’t really interest me, Lily, Barney, and Marshall are funny, but barely there, and I could care less about Ted scoring with two chicks. I mean really, who tells that to their kids?
Friday, February 11, 2011
Season 3, Episode 2: We’re Not From Here
Michael Moore was so right about Americans!
I’m Canadian!
Lily and Marshall prepare for their deaths, while Robin adjust to life after her vacation, and Barney and Ted come up with a new way to meet girls.
Lily & Marshall- Marshall and Lily make “death folders” with important information, last wishes, and a letter for each other, except that Marshall didn’t realize they were supposed to write a letter, so he has to do it before Lily realizes it, or he dies.
Marshall sits down to write his letter, and it’s heart-wrenching for him. But when he finishes the lengthy letter, he ends up reading Lily’s letter, which is just a list of account information and things he will need to do. Marshall starts acting oddly, and ends up admitting he read her letter. Lily ends up admitting that she can’t bear to think about not being with Marshall, that’s why she couldn’t write the letter. She also brings up that she knows he’s just going to end up reading it again, and Marshall promises he won’t. So Lily concedes.
She writes her death letter and Marshall kept his promise for 22 years, until November 1, 2029, when he finally opens the letter. And it turns out she wrote him a letter in which she tells him he’s busted and that he sucks. And when he angrily responds out loud, Lily comes in and tells him he really sucks because he didn’t keep his promise.
Robin- After her trip to Argentina, Robin has become a more down to earth person because of her experiences there.
Robin’s talking to Lily about Gael, and Robin admits she’s annoyed by things she liked in Argentina. Robin is trying to evolve and go with the flow. Later, Robin is in the shower and she hears Gael in the bathroom, and finds out it’s not Gael. Turns out, Gael met some “new friends” and invited them to stay at Robin’s “indefinitely.” Robin’s not doing so hot with all the people in her apartment. She ends up talking to her “Argentina” self, and realizes how boring and lame she was in Argentina. And because of that she tries to kick the squatters out of her apartment and ends up taking one of her guns out there. So she breaks up with Gael and turns back into her old self.
Ted & Barney- Robin’s new boyfriend, Gael, attracts women like a moth to a flame, and Ted and Barney realize it’s because he a foreigner and from out of town. Which leads the guys to pretend they’re tourists from Missouri.
The guys go out with the “real New York girls” and the girls are completely lame. They end up going out to the South Bronx to a party with the girls, and they get mugged at gun point. They stick it out with the girls, just for the “Thank God We’re Alive” sex. And then they end up finding out the girls are actually from New Jersey. Turns out, Ted really hates people from New Jersey, and he hates that the girls said they were New Yorkers when they weren’t.
The Mother- Funny, but not really one of my favorite episodes. And, honestly, not seeing how The Mother works into all of this.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Season 3, Episode 1: Wait for it…
…dary! Legendary!
Future Ted tells his kids that they know the short story of how he met their mother, the thing with her yellow umbrella, but there’s a long story about the man he had to become before he could meet her.
And that story begins right after Marshall and Lily’s wedding. Ted and Robin broke up two weeks previously and Barney instantly starts trying to set him up (girl with right boob bigger than left boob). But first he has to go through his routine. Robin went to Argentina for a while and he started by growing his “break-up beard” (judges at the Miss Nassau County pageant selling their votes). He repainted his apartment (finish line of a woman’s 10K; salty girls on an endorphin high who just want to lie down). He was doing good (female acrobats from Montreal). Robin shows up from her trip to Argentina with Gael (Enrique Iglesias). This brings up that after a breakup there is a competition between the couple, and Robin is winning with Gael. So Ted decides to start dating again so that he can win.
Awkwardly, Lily (entranced by Gael) asked them to have dinner with her and Marshall. But it’s not going well because Robin is stressing over Ted, Lily's in love with Gael, and Marshall’s just incredibly suspicious of the guy.
When they go down to the bar, Ted starts making out with tattooed Amy (Mandy Moore). Barney wants to leave because “it’s totally dead” but Amy tells him off and then they just start making out again. For once, Barney is the one being lame, and Amy is cool and dangerous. They’re in Amy’s hot tub and Ted compliments her tattoos, so she tells him he should get one. Barney thinks it’s a bad idea, because he wouldn’t look good in them. Turns out Amy’s hot tub is actually the hot tub of the people she used to nanny for. And Ted leaves with Amy to get a tattoo. They’re planning out his tattoo, and then Future Ted explains, that’s all he remembers. He woke up the next morning alone at home. He thinks that he didn’t go through with the tattoo, but we see that he got a butterfly tramp stamp. But, Marshall and Lily see the tattoo, and they call Barney to come over and see it, but they don’t tell Ted. Barney ends up hitting Ted on the back and he realizes that he has a tramp stamp. And then her remembers what happened the night before.
At the tattoo parlor it turns out the tattoo artist is Amy’s ex-boyfriend, which explains the tattoo.
Then Ted finds some Spanish massage oil, and he asks Marshall and Lily what happened the night before. The evening got really odd with Gael playing the guitar for the three entranced friends. And eventually, giving Marshall a massage.
Ted storms out and goes to Robin’s apartment, he tells her that this isn’t some “I came all the way over here because I want you back” thing. But, he tells her, it sucks that she is with Gael now, and they had a very rational breakup, but now he needs to yell. She apologizes for showing up with Gael. And he says that it sucks that she got over him so fast. And she admits that she was just trying to survive the breakup. And then she tells Ted that he was better because he was bigger (you know what I mean?) and he “wins” the breakup.
And in that last little scene before the credits, Marshall calls Barney and directs him to a website called, slapcountdown.com which shows this:
It’s baaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!
The Mother- I love this episode. I love everybody loving Gael. I love Mandy Moore as Amy. And I love the hint of the Slap Bet! But most importantly, I love that this is evidently getting us on our way to meeting The Mother.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Season 2: Episode 22: Something Blue
And, Ted, my boy, it’s going to be legen…wait for it…
At Lily and Marshall’s reception, Ted and Robin share some big news with Barney.
Lily & Marshall- Marshall and Lily are married, and decide to come up with a new last name because she’s not taking his name. They’re also starving because they haven’t been able to eat anything, something always keeps interrupting them. Lily’s eating strawberries and having a glass of champagne with each, so she’s a little buzzed. Lily and Marshall cut the cake, and Marshall just wants to eat the cake, but Lily’s so drunk she falls over. And so they leave for Scotland.
Lily and Marshall are headed back to the hotel (in Ranjit’s limo; see Limo), but Lily's so drunk that they end up stopping at Weinerburger to get some food. And Marshall is so happy to be able to call Lily his wife.
Ted, Robin, & Barney- Robin and Ted are dancing and Ted comments that the wedding’s over so tomorrow they can start telling people. Of course, Barney overhears and won’t let it go until they tell him what. Finally, they break and tell him they have news, but they’re waiting until after the wedding to tell people because it’s big news.
It was Robin or Ted’s anniversary so they went to the restaurant where they had their first date (Blue French Horn anyone?), the waiter gives them champagne on the house and in the bottom of Robin’s glass is an engagement ring. Barney’s response? “Don’t get married.” Robin freaks out and says no, and Ted says that it’s not his. Turns out that it was supposed to go to a couple behind them. (Fun fact, I heard somewhere that the guy worked on HIMYM and that the girl was his girlfriend, and that’s how he proposed. Seriously. Her reactions completely genuine because she had no idea!) Robin tries to play it off, but Ted questions her reaction, because she was so resistant to his proposal.
Ted asks Robin where she sees herself in five years and she asks him right back. He admits that in five years he probably wants to be married. And Robin says that in five years she sees herself in Argentina or Tokyo, or Paris, she wants to be having an adventure. And they realize their relationship has an expiration date. Barney thinks they broke up, but the story’s not over.
They go to leave and the waiter realizes Ted’s the one who stole the Blue French Horn. So they go to run away and run into a waiter carrying spaghetti and get it all over themselves. They go back to Robin’s to get the Horn to take back to the restaurant and continue their conversation. Ted asks why he hasn’t heard about Argentina before this, and she says that he never wants to live there so she never brought it up. Ted says that he could go, and brings up that things in his life are perfectly in line at that moment and he could in fact do something like that. So he tells her they should move to Argentina. She laughs it off and he says that she’s afraid he’s not kidding. So she agrees. Poor Barney is horrified. But the story’s not over yet.
Robin brings up that Ted wants to have kids, and he says that they could have kids anywhere. Robin says kids were never part of her plan, but if she was going to have someone’s babies they would be Ted’s. And then it comes up that Robin is potentially pregnant because they “risked it" and Barney realizes Robin’s only drinking water. And completely freaks out.
The story’s not over yet. They realize that they’re really all talk. They were going to move in together and didn’t. But they realize that they’re better apart. So they broke up. But they’re okay.
They went to tell everybody but Lily was so stressed over the wedding (See Something Borrowed) that they decided to wait until after the wedding.
Future Ted explains that even though they broke up, they both got what they wanted. Robin would go on to live in Argentina and Morocco, Greece, Russia, and Japan. And Ted met The Mother. Barney tells Ted that as much as he joked about them breaking up, but they were really good together. Ted says Robin wasn’t “the one” but Ted says he just wants to have fun. And Barney ass if Ted could need a wingman, and Ted agrees.
The Mother- I love Horrified Barney, and Drunk Lily, and Amused Marshall. I do like this episode because for once it’s a story mainly focused on Ted that doesn’t bore me to death.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
February 3, 2011- “Wedding” Barney
“Marshall,doyoutakeLilytobeyourwifetohaveandtoholdfromthisdayforwardsolongasyoubothshalllive?”
Season 2: Episode 21: Something Borrowed
But you hate marriage. Why do you want to perform the ceremony?
Because, it subtly implants in the mind of every woman there that when I ask a question you say, “I do.”
Marshall and Lily are getting married at the Van Smoot mansion, which was not what they originally had in mind.
Eight Months to Wedding:
Outdoor, beautiful garden
Small, 25 people, just family and friends
Acoustic guitar
Six Months:
Triple digit guest list
Five Months:
Indoor wedding
Three Months:
Harp player
1 hour 38 Minutes:
The harp player is hugely pregnant (due last Tuesday), but Lily is determined to not be one of those brides, who wants her wedding perfect. Barney comes in and asks who “Bill” is because a guy came up to him and asked him when someone should object during a wedding. It turns out “Bill” is Scooter’s real name, and Lily’s mom must have invited him. Scooter shows up in Lily's dressing room, and he proclaims his love for her and that he wants to win her back.
Forty-Seven Minutes:
Barney send Marshall's friend Brad in to get rid of Scooter. Of course Brad is huge and Scooter runs away from him.
Barney discovers that anyone will do anything if it’s “for the bride.” Including getting a girl to give him her number.
Forty Minutes:
Brad comes in and tells them he tackled some guy he thought was Scooter, but it turned out to be the photographer. Lily’s not letting it bother her though.
Thirty-Three Minutes:
The flowers won’t be coming until halfway through the ceremony.
Twenty-Eight Minutes:
Her veil is found in the parking lot.
Twenty-Four Minutes:
The harpist’s water breaks, but she’s going to try to make it through the ceremony.
Twenty-One Minutes:
Robin finds she forgot Lily’s “wedding panties.” But Lily says it’s fine, she’s marrying Marshall. Then she completely freaks out. But Robin takes her outside to have a cigarette and Lily calms down.
Meanwhile, Marshall comes in from having his hair cut and it turns out the girl gave him frosted tips. (He seriously looks like a Backstreet Boy.)
Seventeen Minutes:
Marshall is freaking out, and he says that Lily’s not going to want to marry him looking like that. Rather than thinking logically and sending someone out to get some hair dye, Marshall just shaves his head. Then he completely freaks out because Ted just let him shave his head. Ted runs out and tries to find something to cover Marshall’s head.
Thirteen Minutes:
They try a toupee from Uncle Ben but it looks awful. Then Brad comes in and Marshall finds out Scooter’s there. So they decide to go for a walk outside. Once there, Lily and Marshall run into each other. They’re talking about how they far away from their original plan this wedding is, when Ted realizes that they could have the wedding they wanted. They’re outside, it’s just a small group, and Barney can officiate (he got ordained or whatever earlier in the episode). So they decide to do both weddings, because when everything goes wrong inside, they’ll have already gotten married. They borrow a hat from the gardener, and Barney starts the ceremony. Barney nearly cries through the whole thing, but it’s a sweet ceremony. They forgot their vows so they just go off the cuff, and it’s perfectly them.
The ceremony inside is pretty bad, but they have the memories from their first wedding.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Season 2, Episode 20: Showdown
It’s a dirty story, isn’t it? You guys went out to dinner, did it in the kitchen and got caught. Scherbatsky reeks of someone who likes to get caught.
Okay, now I have to wash up for two reasons.
With the wedding approaching, Lily and Marshall try to spend time apart, Ted struggles with his toast, and Barney goes on the Price is Right.
Lily and Marshall’s wedding is only weeks away and they are becoming increasingly co-dependent. Exhibit A: Marshall ate ice cream earlier and now Lily’s stomach hurts. Exhibit B: They were cooking in the kitchen together, Lily needed eggs, so Marshall walked over to the fridge with her. It’s horrifying. They don’t see anything wrong with it. They tell everyone they decided to not to spend the last two weeks before the wedding sleeping apart, because of “wedding logistics.” But they insist they could if they wanted to, so Robin invites Lily to stay with her. And so they give in.
Ted and Robin come home covered in tomato sauce, but say they’ll tell everyone later.
When Lily’s looking at their registry, they find out Barney knows the retail price of everything. He tells them he’s been training because he’s going on the Price is Right.
Lily's spending the night at Robin’s and puts on her dress, then finds out it comes right off if she raises her arms, because she’s too skinny.
Ted tries out his best man toast on Marshall, but Marshall is horrified when Ted’s going to tell an embarrassing story about Marshall getting pulled over while Lily was doing something dirty to him.
Lily finds out it will be $300 to get her dress taken in, but Robin tells her it’s a license to eat, so they go to put some weight on Lily.
Ted revises his speech, but instead it’s a story about how as Freshmen in college they were drunk and Ted had gone to get food, and when he came back with Funyuns Marshall told him, “I love you” and Lily thought he was talking to her and told him it back. Marshall is still horrified, especially because Lily’s never heard that story.
Barney is stressing out over getting on The Price is Right, because the big wheel is not something he can memorize. When they press him they find out that when he was a kid his mom told him Bob Barker was his father. SO now he’s going to LA, win the showcase showdown, and tell Bob Barker he’s his son. The group does not think this is a good idea.
Lily has to gain 5 pounds in a 10 days (lucky her) but the next day finds out she lost a pound.
Ted revises his speech again, this time telling the story of how Marshall and Lily got back together and afterward they all went to the bar where they did shots of milk and stayed up until 10 PM! Then they all credit Marshall’s parents for teaching him good values. Then Marshall holds Lily’s hand. It’s totally boring.
Flash ahead to two weeks later, when Ted is giving his toast, talking about how both he and Lily achieved their goals, and how the the perfect Lily and Marshall moment was two nights earlier when he found Marshall sneaking back in and found out that Marshall had been sneaking out all week long to a hotel where he was meeting Lily. And there, because she was less stressed out, they were eating and she was gaining weight. Ten years into their relationship, they couldn’t spend a night apart.
Future Ted starts to tell the story of the wedding, but stops to finish Barney’s story. Barney gets called up and is totally in awe of Bob, and bids perfectly on everything. And in the middle of things is showing Bob pictures of him as a kid. He keeps giving everything he won to Lily and Marshall for his wedding. When he comes to the big wheel, Bob calls him “son” (Like he does for a lot of guys) and Barney manages to spin a dollar. In the Showcase Showdown, and Barney bids exactly and wins both showcases. During Bob’s normal speech about spaying or neutering pets, Barney flakes out and doesn’t tell him. Because he doesn’t think Bob could have handled the truth, because he spent so long thinking one thing and to find out the truth would be devastating.
The Mother- Yay for Bob Barker’s cameo! I love that Barney just naturally believes anything his mother told him, and I love how awkward Barney’s stint on the show is! I also love that Marshall and Lily can’t stand to spend a night apart. It would be annoying, but it’s really sweet at the same time.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Season 2, Episode 19: Bachelor Party
All right, fine, the stripper at Stuart’s bachelor party was a 15.
She was 15?
A 15, like in blackjack.
As in, not sure whether you’d hit it?
Marshall’s bachelor party and Lily’s bridal shower both get out of hand.
Ted, Marshall, & Barney- Ted and Marshall are planning Marshall’s Bachelor Party, and Barney’s planning it with strippers. Although both Ted and Marshall say no strippers. Barney keeps insisting that Marshall really does want strippers.
And eventually the day comes and it’s Marshall (The Groom), Ted (The Best Man), Stuart (The Guy Who Speaks Only in Clichés), Brad (The Guy Who Disappears at the Beginning of the Night and Doesn’t Show Up Again Until the End), and Barney.
The guys are watching movies (supposed to be pornos but Barney picked the wrong Deep Impact) when Barney finds out that they’re not going to Atlantic City, they’re going to Foxwoods (I don’t know where that is). There Ted has arranged third-row seats to the Popinski-Salazar rematch (boxing?), their own craps table, and a private room at Connelly’s where they’ll eat a 102 ounce steak from a cow Ted picked out on the Internet. When they get there Barney has a stripper waiting in the room.
The stripper ends up hurting her ankle, and they miss the match taking her to the hospital. It turns out, when they listen in on the radio, that the match is the type to make history when it’s over within 10 minutes.
They’re at the hospital, and the stripper tells them her ankle is broken and spells out her sob story to them. They tell her they’ll let her off the hook, but she wants to do it anyway.
Ted, Marshall, and Stuart are still disgusted from the stripper, but Barney’s reliving the whole thing. Barney forgets to put out his cigar and they get kicked out of the hotel. The end up running into Brad on the drive back, and meet up with the girls at the bar. Marshall is furious with Barney and tells him he’s not sure if he wants Barney at the wedding, because Barney doesn’t even want them to get married.
Lily, against Barney’s wishes, ends up telling everyone how the summer they were broken up, Barney flew out to San Francisco to find Lily and tells her to come home because she and Marshall belong together. “The two of you have something that most people search their whole lives for and never find. I know you love him, and if you knew what he was going through right now, you wouldn’t be here for one more second.” Then he gives her a ticket home because, “Marshall is one of the best people I know, and it won’t be long until someone else realizes that, and you’ll lose him forever. I can’t stand the thought of that happening, and I cannot keep stealing chicks from him forever.” He tells her if she ever tells anyone he was there he will deny it completely. So Ted admits that Barney’s really the best man. And Marshall declares that they’re co-best men.
Lily & Robin- It is Lily’s bridal shower and earlier Robin had picked out some nice lingerie, but when she showed it to Barney he says that he needs to get her something outrageous. So Robin gets her something a little wild (battery powered, adult-recreational, inappropriate). When she gets to the party though, everyone there is an older relative or preparing to be a nun.
Lily is opening gifts and Robin is dreading hers, but she can’t seem to do anything to keep hers from being opened. But she ends up switching the card on hers with a gift that looks just the same.
Lily gets to Robin’s gift, but thinks it’s from her grandmother, who was giving her an antique sewing machine. Before Lily opens it, her grandmother tells her how she and Lily’s great-grandmother both used this “handy little device.” And how she and her sister used to have contests with it, and how she used it the whole time her husband was in Korea. And her husband would use it once in a while too. Robin is horrified.
Lily opens it, sees what it is, and is horrified. Robin finally admits what it is, and everybody sees it, and they say it’s just like the one Miranda gave Charlotte on Sex and the City. And the night becomes a new kind of uncomfortable.
Robin offers to return her gift, but Lily keeps saying that she doesn’t need to bother, until Lily simply asks her to leave it.
The Mother- Oh Barney. I love the fact that you spend most of the show hating him because he’s being selfish, and then you find out all that he did for Marshall and Lily. It’s heart-wrenching.
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